Madrid, capital of Spain, longtime artistic city and short-term filmset of La casa de Papel. As much as I wanted to see the Spanish National Research Council (CSIC), I didn’t have time. Madrid was to be an in-and-out job, much like City’s thrilling three-all draw at the Estadi Santiago Bernabeu. Or, more appropriately, how my bank account is on pay day. In. Out. Done.

With that in mind, I met a few Blues for octopus on bread, alongside Callos a la Madrileña (a stewed tripe dish, cooked slowly for hours). With scrumptious food and a decent pint (or half litre) of Alhambra in the belly, I went for a wander. On the map, a temple had caught my eye.

Casa de Toledo isn’t in Toledo. It is in the Madrid area of Torrelodones. Sadly, a tad too far. The protected park by the Guadarrama River was too far out. Instead of planning a Bank robbery, I wandered to the Temple of Debod, which sounded quite mysterious. On arriving, with no information, I found a brick-by-brick relocated Egyptian tomb gifted by the Egyptian government to Madrid. Not a bad result of the Aswan Dam needing new space. This bizarre relocation overlooks the city of Madrid and a panoramic view of the majestic Palace area. Other bits are on view. On this occasion, the Simpsons, a panda, and a gorilla were nearby.

After this, a train from nearby sped towards Nuevos Ministerios metro station, followed by a stroll up to the football stadium. The Santiago Bernabeu is iconic and has been around since 1947. Maine Road, City’s mainstay for the 20th century, was built in 1923. Named after a former player and a benefactor, Santiago Bernabéu de Yeste once served under Francisco Franco’s Nationalists. The stadium had only a few years before bearing his name in 1955. Gone was the Nuevo Chamartín, and along came an iconic stadium. A recent refurbishment hadn’t been completed by the time Manchester City kicked off against Real Madrid in the 2023/24 quarter-finals of the UEFA Champions League.

The game itself was perilous at times, with moments of madness in defence for both teams sandwiching a handful of great goals. Phil Foden, J G, and Valvedare amongst the action. Bernardo Silva’s sublime freekick started the proceedings. The expected enclosure of the away stand was far from complete with a pre-match temporary power cut, taking the concourse lighting down. The alcohol-free offerings and limited snacks were overpriced and low in quality. Much like the tonnes of concrete dust around the “polished turd” of the Santiago Bernabeu stadium. The exterior is cased to look like an air-fryer or some such metallic pebble. Perhaps all the shopping trolley supply of Madrid was melted down for this external case. The steepness of the 4 (or 7 or 8) tiered away end allowed for a good view of pigeons landing below. Even their visit to the top two tiers needed supplementary oxygen.

The interior bowl of the Air Fryer Bernabeu looks impressive. It’s almost like a giant basketball-arena with a slightly bigger playing surface. The exterior lacks character and will no doubt reflect well under sunlight, but a metallic pebble broken by slats looks to me like a license to overheat. The dusty staircase, incomplete toilet and snack facilities, and decorations will no doubt look and feel better when complete. Until then, it’s a building site.

The four towers known as Paseo de la Castellana, near Madrid Chamartin railway station, does feature in the Spanish money heist series La casa de Papel. From here, I made my withdrawal. Bound for Alicante. Little did I know that City would be taken to extra time and eliminated from the Champions League in the following week. It is what it is.