The Fly

A familiar smell, tepid and lacking freshness emits outwards. The sound zips by. It’s mouth so small yet so present. This one is a shiny metalic black but they come in other colours.

Fear surrounds them, but somehow, we keep them near and close. Too close. Too close for comfort. They feel and look so cold and lifeless. They press against us from time to time, reminding us that they’re forever hiding in the shadows.

Their sounds are almost undetectable, however, we know when they move. What’s their real motivation for hanging around us so freely? Don’t they have a better place to belong? I’m sure they could be part of a carrier system or help fit a cover somewhere. But, no, they are here and this one in particular is draining the colour from my face.

I heard they’re a major killer around the world, more than wars ever cleansed away life on Earth, or was that something else? I stare down at it. The fly. The dreaded evil fly. It’s red. That’s the last time I catch myself in the fly.

Embers

Something is fluttering and refusing to stay still. It grips hold of my attention and drowns out the conversation in the room. My eyes are looking but I’m not seeing. I find my mouth making the sound of agreement but inside I’m dancing, somewhere else. I twitch a little in my eye, but my focus won’t return. In my world, I’ll remain here until the next pat on my shoulder. Don’t disturb these moments. Let me bask in my imagination. Reality doesn’t want me anyway.

You’re welcome.

You have no idea what I had to trade with the devil for that. No problem. Not a worry. My pleasure. Don’t mention it. It was nothing. Nothing makes me happier. Happy to help you. You are so welcome. Welcome, anytime. Anytime you need help, ask me. I am glad it helped you. I’ll count on your vote for the next election. I’m sure you’d have done the same for me. You’re welcome. You would have done the same if you were in my shoes. Sure. I’m happy to be of assistance. Happy to be of service. Sure thing. No big deal. The feeling is mutual. That’s why good friends do. I’m glad that you’re satisfied. You’ll get my bill by the morning. Oh, stop it, you! The invoice is on the way. You deserve it. It’s just a token of my appreciation. After all, it was my privilege. It was my honour to have helped. I’m just returning a favour. Let me know if I can help you in the future.

If only you had said thank you.

You’re welcome.

You have no idea what I had to trade with the devil for that. No problem. Not a worry. My pleasure. Don’t mention it. It was nothing. Nothing makes me happier. Happy to help you. You are so welcome. Welcome, anytime. Anytime you need help, ask me. I am glad it helped you. I’ll count on your vote for the next election. I’m sure you’d have done the same for me. You’re welcome. You would have done the same if you were in my shoes. Sure. I’m happy to be of assistance. Happy to be of service. Sure thing. No big deal. The feeling is mutual. That’s why good friends do. I’m glad that you’re satisfied. You’ll get my bill by the morning. Oh, stop it, you! The invoice is on the way. You deserve it. It’s just a token of my appreciation. After all, it was my privilege. It was my honour to have helped. I’m just returning a favour. Let me know if I can help you in the future.

If only you had said thank you.

Reflection

Looking back, I find myself looking forwards. The old ways fade to new. Before I know it, I’ve slept a day, a week, a month and a year away. Interrupted by excuses and delayed by new procrastination at every turn, I look to push away the future and hold on to the past. They tell me change is good but I’m less adaptable than I care to admit. That is, when I’m not lying to myself or hiding my head in the sand.

Time slips away. Here I am, turning from sunrise to sunset, and all I see is clouds. The moonlight calls me and breakfast rooseter calls fall on deaf ears. I seek solace as torture creeps along the end of the bed. A howl of snapping dogs in despair. They jump around excited that my fate is but a momentary slip of strength away. They call out to me. I’m too withdrawn to answer.

There’s a light flickering and refusing to cease. A ray broke through the overhead gloom. Ripples in water reflect and shine as I glance from the edge of the murky water. Should I sink or swim? These are my choices. I’m more eunuch to society than life is to a stone. I cast a wandering wonder and drift away. Life to death is a door that I dread, yet I know the door is gently creaking open. Not yet. Not now. No thanks.