Just a Minute?

BBC’s under-rated and these days hidden gem of comedy radio is the show Just a Minute. The original host Nicholas Parsons had plenty of minutes in his lifetime. He ran the longevity of the show from 1962 to 2019, well into his 90s. The witty Lincolnshire-born presenter came from a town called Grantham, known for its infamous daughter Baroness Margaret Thatcher and Sir Isaac Newton. One famous for apples falling off a tree, and the former, a Darth Vader-impressionist for stealing milk from developing children.

“Mortals rejoice that there has existed such and so great an ornament of the human race!” – Translation from G. L. Smyth, The Monuments and Genii of St. Paul’s Cathedral, and of Westminster Abbey

Nicholas Parsons reportedly only missed around four episodes of the radio show, Just a Minute, between 2018 and 2020. Parsons was clearly caught slacking at the young age of 94. His good friend Gyles Brandreth, a regular show panelist stepped in for those occasions. Even into his 95th year, Parsons was active at a charity event, with the Grand Order of Water Rats.

The aim of the gameshow Just a Minute, is to speak unbrokenly on a subject for sixty seconds. Regular panelist (for 33 years) and comedian Paul Merton has mastered this skill. Evidence can be found on the BBC website, although you can’t say BBC because that’s repetition. No repetition. I repeat, no repetition. The rules of Just a Minute involve:

rulestips
When the leader or chair person says start talking, or ends their introduction the competitor must speak immediately. Try not to speak too swiftly. You may trip over your own words.
Don’t hesitate. Don’t speak slowly because… No hesitation. Nor should you acknowledge others speaking and that you’re going to go down another avenue.A wide vocabulary is useful.
Deviation: changing the topic is ill-advised. That’s a rule broken. No deviation. Keep it on topic.Don’t ask questions to the chair person or fellow panelists. That’s deviation.
To say, “um”, “er”, “ee”, “oo”, “ah”, “walla walla”, “bing bang” or “ahhhh” is to break the rules. See hesitation. The listening competitors can challenge any broken rules.
Repeat only the words on the subject card, although it being a radio show. No repetition of other words. Even acronyms such as BBC, CCTV etc count as repetition. Short words don’t count as repetition. e.g. I, our, we, the…
Let the opposition listen and challenge you. The chair person’s say is final but the panel may debate challenges in a friendly way. Rules are rules.

The game show can be adapted to be a fun end of year game. It would certainly encourage fluency and accuracy in thought to speech. The show created by the late Ian Messiter was caught day-dreaming and faced the cane, but could avoid doing so by speaking for two minutes on the class subject (he should have been listening to). So, in a sense, repeating the game in the classroom, at the end of the school year, is returning it to its origins. Without a cane. Thanks Mr Messiter! Interestingly, the creator’s son, Malcom, even presented the show on a televised version in 2012. Now, actress and comedian Sue Perkins hosts the regular radio panel show. In my humble this is essential listening to improve your skills of English and spoken ability. There’s no harm in trying. Sharpening the tongue is a skill of its own.

The Parton and Moresby Memorial

Today’s writing is from a guest. My best friend Danny Rudyard had been asked to write a speech for one of many forthcoming memorial services for Remembrance Day. So, here it goes, the passionate words and writing of my best mate (written in the picturesque Copeland Borough village of Parton):

Good morning Ladies and Gentlemen,

I am Danny Ridyard, I am a Soldier and adopted Partonian. Here’s a little history on me, so you know where I’m coming from. I served 12 years in the British Army starting as a tank driver, aged 17. I progressed through the ranks to command my own Challenger 2 Main Battle Tank. I gained numerous instructor level qualifications and completed 4 combat tours across 2 war zones. I fought in Operation Telic and Op telic 7 in Iraq And Operation Heric 16 and 17 In Afghanistan.

And I have a question for you: What is a War Memorial?

In our case it is an Ornamental gothic Cross, Made of Rubislaw grey granite. So, is it just stone and mortar stacked in a corner of a field that will remain forever England?

Absolutely not. I would argue that like many things in life, a memorial is much more than the sum of its parts. First and foremost, it is a symbol. A symbol of the tremendous sacrifice made by the community that was and honoured by the community that is Parton and Moresby.

It is a focal point for us all to honour those that came before us, those that answered our nations call to stand up to oppression and tyranny. The miners, the green grocers and the educators that became soldiers. Became the defenders of what so many of us now take for granted.

These 51 names you see before you belong to 51 husbands, fathers and sons of Parton and Moresby and like the monument that bears their names they are more than the sum of their parts they are their deeds; they are their courage, and they are rightly remembered by their nation on monuments across the length and breath of the country.

But more personably they are remembered by their successors in the community in which they lived and loved. This monument is not just a monument – it is our monument and it is every ounce the symbol it was built to be 100 years ago.

When you join the British Army you swear an oath of allegiance to Her Majesty The Queen, her heirs and successors. And in principle agree to live by a set of values these are known as ‘The Values and Standards Of The British Army’. They are remembered by the mnemonic ‘CDRILS’. They are:

Courage

Discipline

Respect for Others

Integrity

Loyalty

Selfless Commitment

These soldiers raised from our community that are remembered on our memorial will have sworn identical oaths, albeit to The King, they would have lived and ultimately died by these values and standards. I believe that we, as a community, can lay claim to these values, we have for 100 years, shown the Courage and the Discipline to maintain our monument, demonstrated the Respect for Others and shown the Integrity of our community by attending annual vigils and I know we will strive to continue the Loyalty to our forebears and through the sacrifice of our time and treasure we can show our Selfless Commitment.

By ensuring our monument is maintained and rejuvenated so that the sacrifices of our communities’ past can continue to be honoured by our present community and though our actions, the generations that follow us can be inspired to live up to the same, hard won, values and standards.

Our monument Reads: ‘This stone was erected by the inhabitants of PARTON & MORESBY’ Lets take a moment to digest that. It wasn’t a ‘mandated’ subscription organised by government that raised our memorial up. It was the ‘us’ of Parton and Moresby. It was the literal occupiers of, in some cases, the houses we now call home, they were the men and women that lived in Parton and Moresby, men and women like you and me that no doubt had a personal connection to the men that bore the names listed on our monument and keenly felt their absence. And they showed the strength of their character by handing down this legacy of memorial not for themselves but for those that gave their today for our tomorrow.

For our monument also reads:

They went to their duty; Young, strong & brave; They gave their lives for others; Themselves they could not save. FOR FREEDOM’S CAUSE.

That last bit is wrote in capitols and is surely an indication of how strongly our community holds the virtue of freedom. Thank you.

Lest we forget.

Thank you kindly, Grade 4!

We started the year as ten eager sets of eyes and ended with a net gain of four extra pairs of eyes. The class has many strengths and a few challenges to overcome, such as not copying poor choices of behaviour from each another.

学年伊始,我们四年级只有10名学生,我从这10个学生的眼里看到了最热切的目光,到了年末,这样的目光又多了四对,14名独一无二的你们组成了最个性的四年级。我们四年级有诸多优点,但也有不足,面临的挑战也不少,比如不要模仿别人的错误行为。

It only takes a moment to be courteous – and that makes smiles.

花片刻的时间就能做到真正的礼貌,而这样会让别人会心一笑。

I read somewhere that it takes seven fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown. Grade four’s students each have the ability to turn days of frustration and worry to days of sunshine and happiness. Bring me sunshine, in your smiles! Just like, when I say the word birthday, and the whole class starts singing ‘happy birthday’ to me in October, May, or June… a running shared joke that carries warmth.

不知道在哪里我曾经读到过这样一句话,微笑比皱眉要少用7块肌肉。四年级的学生都有这样一种超能力,都能把沮丧和忧虑的日子变成阳光和快乐的日子。用你们的笑容给我带来阳光吧! 就像那一次,大概在10月份,当我说到“生日”这个词的时候,整个班开始给我唱“生日快乐歌”,接下来的5月,6月,基本上每个月我都收到生日的祝福…… 在我看来,这是一个温暖的玩笑。

Over the past year, I have seen countless moments of your growth, scenes like photos frozen in my mind.

这一年来,我看到了你们无数的成长瞬间,一幕幕像照片一样定格在我的脑海里

Finding little post-it notes on my desk and tiny little handmade gifts from scraps of paper. These are things we never ask for, yet are rewarded by caring, disciplined and balanced learners.

比如我常常看到在我的桌上放着小小的便利贴和一些纸片做的手工礼物,我从来没有向你们索要这些礼物,但我知道这是有爱心、守纪律、懂平衡的四年级以这种方式感谢老师。

Seeing students tackle texts far above their grade level; dissect and cut open popular quotations; make and share ice cream, cheesecake, flapjacks, and lemon teas.

我看到你们钻研远高于你们年级水平的课文,剖析理解一些著名的语录,制作并分享冰淇淋、芝士蛋糕、烙饼和柠檬茶等。

Seeing bright smiles with swipes of a ping pong bat; hugging each other after a stray Frisbee bumps a head; shooting the ball so hard that your big toe hurts; the glorious teamwork in the cooking room – working through problems together; ignoring me all day because I told you to ignore things you disagreed with, and you took my advice a little too far.

我看到挥着乒乓球拍的你们展现的灿烂笑容;飞盘撞到头后,彼此拥抱的身影;踢球太用力后捂着脚的痛苦表请;以及厨房里齐心协力解决问题的团队精神。我告诉你们学会无视一些你们无法同意的事情,结果你们就整天无视我,我觉得你们对我的建议可能有什么误解。

trusting yourselves and respecting the expression of others; using genuine apologies and acknowledging to yourself that you’ve made a mistake – you’re only human, after all! asking new questions; connecting with authors, museums, and parks in ways others can only dream of; treating each other with warmth and sincerity; sharing your vitamin waters, and my vitamin tablets.

我也看到你们能够相信自己并尊重他人;能做到真诚地道歉,勇敢地承认错误——毕竟,人无完人;我看到你们善于从各种新奇的角度提问问题;会用别人意想不到的方式与作家、博物馆和公园建立联系;我看到你们真诚相待,愿意分享你的维他命水和我的维生素片;

helping to tidy up the classroom after someone else; building a tin can cable car to help your teacher; explaining the many difficult Chinese stories and words in ways that I can relate to; and multitudes of wonderful moments that cannot all be documented or photographed. No matter what you think, it has been an honor to work with and for you all.

我还看到你们帮助他人整理教室;用自己建造的锡罐缆车帮助老师;用我能理解的方式解释许多难懂的中文故事和词语等等等等,还有更多无法被定格的精彩瞬间。不管你们是怎么想的,但是我想说能和你们在一起,为你们服务,是我的荣幸。

You can bring more sunshine to the world. Stay positive. Smile in the face of difficult and testing feelings. Put on the bravest face. Be more Superman than Super Monkey! Now, knuckle down, work harder, play hard and dance like nobody is watching. You are all butterflies in a hand. Free to fly away, but safe to stay and learn from the hand that holds you.

你们可以给这个世界带来更多的阳光。保持积极的态度。微笑面对困难和考验。摆出最勇敢的表情。比超级猴子更像超人!从现在开始,认真努力地学习,尽情恣意地玩耍,旁若无人地跳舞。你们就像手中的蝴蝶,可以自由飞翔,也可以安心停留于托住你们的手掌。

Grade five is one final step and one big leap in primary school. Give it all. Every bead of sweat, every gram of energy, every waking moment, every electrical charge of new reading. Pick up books. Pick up more books. Turn bookshelves into book mountains. Drink the words like water.

五年级是小学的最后一小步,也是迈入中学的一大步。请把你们的每一滴汗水,每一点能量,每一刻清醒,每一丝热情,都献给你们的五年级。拿起一本书,拾起更多的书,将一个个书架垒成一座座书山,像喝水一般汲取每一个词语带来的营养。

Swim in the stories. Let the tales and information of each page become part of you. Never ever stop reading! Question? Answer it. Find a new question. Spread love for reading. Let’s read together in the new school year. I look forwards to seeing you well-rested, eager, and ready to show your teachers, new and old, why I believe that you are all set for big things! To the future scientists, explorers, chefs, and every possible job going, I say: Do your best and that’s all we ask. C’mon you sausages!

在故事的海洋里畅游,让每一页的故事都能融入你的生命,变成你的一部分。永远永远不要停止阅读!有了问题就去找答案,然后再发现新的问题。传播对阅读的热爱吧!让我们在新的学年一起阅读。期待看到你们以整装待发,跃跃欲试的姿态迎接你们现在的, 新的老师,我相信你们都会设立自己的远大目标。现在,我想对未来的科学家、探险家、厨师以及所有可能的职业,说一句,尽你所能!这就是我对你们全部的要求。加油!

Thank you to all the teachers involved with this class, especially Miss Jenny for her support with our blooming grade 4 class of flowers.

最后,非常感谢所有四年级的任课老师,尤其是Jenny老师对四年级的帮助和支持!

The above speech was presented at Dongguan T.W.I.S. during the ‘Moving Up’ ceremony. Translation by Jenny Wang.

“There’s only one way of life; And that’s your own” – The Levellers, One Way

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