Dongguan F.A.

logo
SZBs May 2019 (76)
THE PURPOSE OF THIS PAGE IS TO PROVIDE A CONTACT, A PORT OF CALL; A HAVEN OF IMAGES OF RECENT ACTIVITIES AND A POINT OF REFERENCE FOR THOSE TRYING TO FIND A PLACE TO PUT THEIR BOOTS ON IN THE SUNNY DONGGUAN AFTERNOONS OR HOT EVENINGS – COLD WINTER EVENINGS ARE ALSO AVAILABLE, BUT TERRIBLY INFREQUENT.

Where?

IMG_20141206_172933
Ballave (2)

BallAve, Rongda Industrial Park, G107 Changtai Road,Dongguan, Guangdong. (Near to: 吴芳百货 China 广东省东莞市东城区长泰路) Tel:  James 13650248792 (WeChat: BalloveFootballPitch). Cost: 320RMB (6 a side). Please note – this centre is on the roof, up several flights of stairs.  The rooftop is not visible from the main road outside.  Please refer to photos for directions.  It is a good habit to go there for the first time with someone new, unless you are the World Hide And Seek Champion. Location: Google Maps. GPS: 22°59’31.3″N 113°46’14.6″E / 22.992015, 113.770728 [demolished since 2019]

wx_camera_1538817782317
wx_camera_1538817808460
mmexport1538831689513

BBQ Factory, Dongcheng. The only really comfortable grass field in Dongguan. Showers and bar facilities. The field does get flooded from time to time. It sits at about river level too.

mmexport1420639294659

BinJiang Sports Park. Dongjiang Avenue, 万江区 Dongguan, Guangdong, China. Tel:  +86 769 2271 1816. Adjacent to the Dongjiang River to the north, Dongjiang Boulevard to the southeast, and Quhai Bridge (National Highway 107) to the west, Dongguan Binjiang Sports Park assumes a triangular shape allowing great transport convenience. It also has a whacking great big Olympic torch monument strapped in the middle of a lake.  You cannee miss it. Location: Click for a map on Google. GPS:

Champion Soccer School, Yinling Street (indoor 5-a-side pitches). Location: Click for a map on Google: TBA. GPS: TBC

wx_camera_1556203821430

Changping indoor field: NAME TBC. Location: Click for a map on Google. GPS: 22°59’39.6″N 114°00’33.0″E /22.994322, 114.009172

Chashan Decathlon field. Book via Decathlon – and for free. Location: Click for a map on Google: TBA. GPS: TBC

Authentic-Italian-Serie-A-football-Start-From-DG
Murrays (16)
herefc

Dongcheng Futura Football Field  东城福图拉足球场. Conveniently located in Dongcheng, 5 minutes from Dynacity. 位于交通便利的东城,离星河城仅5分钟路程 . Location: Google Maps. GPS:23°01’45.5″N 113°47’50.8″E / 23.029307, 113.797445.

SAMSUNG CSC
IMG_20141220_154402
microMsg.1419061096430
microMsg.1419061096430
IMG_20141220_154402
SAMSUNG CSC

Dongcheng Sports Park. Take a bus, such as No.1, No.19, No.23, No.37, No.43, No.55, C4, K1 and K4 go to Dongcheng Sports Park.  Get off the bus at the stop of Xin Yuan Lu Dong (means Xin Yuan East Road). Dongcheng Sports Park is very close to the bus stop. Location: 东城体育公园 / Google Maps. GPS: 23°00’19.8″N 113°46’27.0″E /23.005507, 113.774173

HubHao-Hengli-Cup-5
HubHao-Hengli-Cup-4
HubHao-Hengli-Cup-3
mmexport1438437019028
HubHao-Hengli-Cup-2
IMG_0434
HubHao-Hengli-Cup-20

Hengli GuSiTu Sports Field. 360 Tian Chao Road, Hengli. Tel:  Jackie (Tel: 13802388480, WeChat: Bffal01994). Although the majority of amateur soccer in Dongguan is concentrated in Dongcheng and Nancheng, there are still many teams that play outside of the city. The newest, and arguably the best, facility outside of Dongcheng and Nancheng is the Gusitu Football Field in Hengli Town. For many years, it was one of the few remaining grass pitches in the city, but last year local suitcase company, Gusitu, paid for a complete renovation. Now they have two 8-a-side pitches that can be turned into one 11-a-side pitch. The surface is as good, if not better, than that at Soccerworld. The Gusitu Arena is also home to Hengli Buffalo, one of the oldest teams in Dongguan. The newly built clubhouse contains trophies, photos and jerseys from their twenty year history. Cost: 400RMB (8 a side), 800RMB (11 a side). Location: Google maps. GPS: 23°01’35.7″N 113°57’56.7″E / 23.026576, 113.965746

Hengli 5-a-side field @ Hengli Sports Park. Cost: possibly free. Booking: essential. Location: click here for Google map spot. GPS: 23°01’05.0″N 113°58’13.5″E / 23.018047, 113.970428.

mmexport1434277119978

Houjie Feng Tai Guan Shan Bi. Next to a lake. Not far from Dalingshan park. Location: Google maps. GPS: 22°54’20.6″N 113°43’04.3″E /22.905721, 113.717866

P60115-164018

Houjie Sports Park. 厚街体育公园 / Tiyu Lu, Houjie, Dongguan, Guangdong. Please note – the central pitch of the atheltic field is the only viable option to use a ball with your feet.  Everywhere is is devoted to hoop-shooting, running, swimming and racket sports. Location: Click for Google maps. GPS: 22°56’56.0″N 113°40’10.7″E / 22.948879, 113.669647

Nancheng Sports ParkUnder redevelopment [March 2017]. Location: 南城体育公园. Google Maps. GPS: 22°59’13.4″N 113°45’14.9″E / 22.987049, 113.754128.

People’s Park Stadium. Address: People’s Park, Dongcheng. Contact: Booking Office (Tel:22222848). Cost: 500RMB (7 a side), 1000RMB (11 a side). Picture the scene; Two worn out pitches with rusty goalposts and torn nets. Surrounding the pitch is a running track covered in leaves and rubbish. Far away from the pitch are empty terraces, separated from running track by high walls with peeling paint.

mmexport1420972009249
May 2015 (2)
mmexport1427330091978
mmexport1421581014949

Soccerworld (5-a-side; 7-a-side; 8-a-side; lockers; shop; toilets; showers; regular competitions; coaching schools). Opened February 22nd, 2014. 东莞中心 DongGuan Centre: 东莞市南城区体育路3号, 523011. Tel:  0769-22338696. Please note – Soccerworld is next to the defunct Dongguan Stadium. Location: Google maps. GPS: 23°01’27.8″N 113°45’12.3″E / 23.024399, 113.753424

mmexport1436113214510

Star / XiHu LeYuan / XiHu Paradise / JiaShiSheng(嘉时盛足球场). Next to Nancheng West Lake Hotel. (Tel:TBC). Cost: 300RMB (7 a side). If you wanna take a public bus, LG1 or No.36 will take you to final stop paradise of West lake (In Chinese:XiHu Leyuan西湖乐园)where the pitch is in. The pitch name is West lake pitch where very close to Nancheng West lake hotel (In Chinese 西湖大酒店,Also next to DG Botanical Park 东莞植物园附近).  If you  drive to this pitch. just search West Lake hotel (西湖大酒店) on you GPS car navigation.  The pitch is also known as JiaShiSheng(嘉时盛足球场). Click for Google Maps. GPS: 22°58’03.0″N 113°45’16.7″E / 22.967490, 113.754651.

Tangxia.

WeChat Image_20180916141445
WeChat Image_20180916141203
PhotoHub Football League Round 6 & 7-17
PhotoHub Football League 8-17

XiPing. Location: Dong Wu Lu / Click for Google Maps. GPS: 22°59’23.5″N 113°45’44.2″E / 22.989855, 113.762269


How?

Join Murray’s F.C. by the below means. Murray’s have players from all over the world, located all over Dongguan – and beyond. Players often travel from Houjie, Dongcheng, Nancheng, Hong Kong, Wanjiang, Guancheng, Hengli, Songshan, Shatian, Liaobu, Zhongtang… to name but a few districts and townships. Linguistically they have Portuguese, English, Spanish, Welsh, Farsi, Chinese, Cantonese, Norwegian, Dutch and other language speakers amongst our gibberish. Every continent is represented except for Antarctica – but they’re working on signing some penguins.

Join other teams such as Dongguan Raiders, or ask acton28 on wechat to join a Dongguan Football 东莞足球 wechat group.


Why?

Why not? Some days you will see many teams with or without foreigners on fields across the city. Murray’s F.C. may field two teams simultaneously at the same time. There are usually two games a week – and there is no obligation to play often or infrequently. Demand and supply suits all. Their players vary in age from as young as 16 to as old as time itself. No names mentioned Rogerio, Alain and Ruben. Ability isn’t needed, although it does help. Whether you’re a budding Shaun Goater, Messi or Falcao or more suited to the styles of Lee Bradbury, Andy Morrison, or Royston Keane, Murray’s will find you a spot. Come play the game. They hold the odd training session too.


Need anything?

Boots and something suitable to sweat in. Shinpads and insurance is advisable because you never know. Kits aren’t free but some clubs will order. The costs can be free or, equate from 88-120RMB per kit (shorts, customised name and number t-shirt with socks). Other equipment is made in the region. Try Dongguan QunJian Sportswear, Podiyeen, HiAtheletesDK Sports,  Intelligent Training systemsDG ShuokeDG Oxi Sports, okay, you get the picture, talk to Dr Google.


Is it social?

After each game and at frequent intervals socials may extend from a free drink, to cheap Argentinian, Brazilian BBQs, to just a natter in a bar such as Liberty or Murray’s bar over some American or Irish style foods. Then there are day trips to Hengli to play a game, away games in Houjie, Hong Kong, Guangzhou and so on. If you want it, you will find it – or make it happen.

DCIM100GOPRO
microMsg.1447513435141
GZ FULI V JIANGSU SUNNING 23RD APRIL 2016 (4)
gz fuli trip (2)
mmexport1466201612864
mmexport1530266649943
fuli gz trip 2016 (7)
mmexport1466321443325
mmexport1412422511342
mmexport1537777513408
mmexport1529835203239
fuli gz trip 2016 (6)
mmexport1529772324411
MFC Autumn winter 2016 (17)
microMsg.1466317307336
mmexport1468417793346
GZ FULI V JIANGSU SUNNING 23RD APRIL 2016 (9)
mmexport1445264276479
mmexport1537777536159

Teams in and around Dongguan have included:

Cavera F.C., Falcons F.C., Brazukas F.C., Red Lions F.C., Fishbone F.C., Dongguan Korea F.C., Dongguan Nancheng, Houjie QiuQi F.C., Cool Breeze F.C., Red School F.C., Land Rover F.C., Latin’s F.C., Hengli Buffalos F.C., CPU F.C., International F.C., Os Pernas de Pau, Shenzhen Blues F.C., Team Hitler (希特勒队:遇见最臭名昭著的人  – I kid you not!) and Murray’s Football Club Dongguan China – 慕里足球俱乐部 [Murray’s FC (Aberystywth Town Football Club); Murray’s FC (Maine Road); Ziggy’s & Murray’s F.C.; Murray’s Fitness First F.C.;),


Sponsorship?

Maybe due to UEFA and FIFA financial fair play, we’re unable to compete with the big boys without backing. If you want your name to be seen, find a team and slap some support on it.

388621326844458035
lego
mmexport1441961441682
WeChat Image_20170919205804
mmexport1428552315752
MFC stuff (4)
SAMSUNG CSC
mmexport1477611127701
Murrays BBQ 141214 (9)
WeChat Image_20180916141825
WeChat Image_20180916141830
Murrays
Murrays BBQ 141214 (1)
WeChat Image_20170919205817
WeChat Image_20170919205811
MFC November 2015 (28)

Football, round our way.

1994: Made in 1994, the Dongguan Stadium (东莞体育场) looks rustic and features the communist-style concrete you would expect of a public stadium. 22,000 seats line its stands. It is only a few years older than the Reebok University of Bolton Stadium. It is a million miles away in function. 

1999: Dongguan Lanwa FC (聯華紅牛) played from 1999 to 2009. They’ve gone, so don’t look for them. No point. Their former ground the Dongguan Stadium (东莞体育场) houses Police and military units. It is next to Soccerworld. Occasionally, or moreso rarely, events can be found on the football field. 

In 2010, then Argentine head coach Diego Maradona and his football players had a 10-day tour of China swinging by Dongguan. Soon after this Arsenal F.C. from England launched a football academy.

2012: Murray’s F.C. forms.

MFC12

June 2013: Brazilian, Football Addict, Visitor: A Sports Journalist away from Country, but Connected to Team Being an expat is never an easy task. But, when you are Brazilian, love football and are 19,000 miles away from home during a World Cup being played in Brazil,

7th June 2014: Meet Football Player Michael Owen Michael Owen was fourth in the list of all-time top scorers for the England team. He was also England’s second highest goalscorer in competitive international matches, behind Wayne Rooney.

June 2014: World Cup Pub Talk: Global Conversation Starters On June 14th, the World Cup kicks off in Brazil.

June – July 2014: Football Baby Beauty Contest Qualifies / Football Baby Quarter Finals

October 2014: Foreign Football League. The influx of foreign football players into Dongguan has moved those sport lovers to form a club of their own, along with the local teams looking for stronger competition.

October 2014: Football Club Awards at Murray’s Irish Pub

May-June 2015: Footgolf Championship 1st Round Mission Hills Footgolf Championship 1st Round The football golf game means getting the ball by using one’s feet (kicking), from the teeing ground by a kick or several consecutive kicks. Footgolf Championship 2015 The sport of hooligan kings is coming to Dongguan.

July 3rd, 2015: Silly Sport in Dongguan In football, players aren’t allowed to use their arms. In bubble football, participants are allowed to use their entire mass. Their arms, however don’t really factor into the game. Unique Bar (Chang’an): Drink & Play. China is full of every type of establishment with an English name that seems out of place to a native speaker, but Unique Bar is actually quite unique.

September 12th, 2015: Murray’s FC Players Night Both the Scallywags and B Quarter will be joining us for an epic party to celebrate Dongguan’s #1 Football Club!

December 2015: Big Phil Comes to Dongguan Donnguan’s Brazilian community just keep on planning events, and World Cup winning football manager, Felipe Scolari was the guest of honour at a concert and dinner hosted by the Tangla.

15/4/2017: Utahloy Football Cup Challenge. Competition for adults. Free sign up. 5 A-side football challenge. Real grass football field. Football activities for kids with Mateus Martins (马丁思), experienced coach from Brazil. Family activities – BBQ, swimming and more. Sign up: Mateus Martins (马丁思): 137 1214 6453. Marcus Soares: 186 8041 7705. Event review1st Utahloy Football Cup Challenge: Latin FC took the Gold Cup and Os Pernas de Pau grabbed the Silver.

3/6/2017: Treehouse Invitational 7 Aside Football Tournament / FOOTBALL AFTERPARTY AT TREEHOUSE. Reggae DJ basting tunes all day Beer, cocktails and food stalls supplied by Treehouse at a discounted price Snookball Contact for details: Aaron Lowe, WeChat ID: loweaaron55. Mobile: +86 137-1333-4624

June 2018: The World Cup 2018 Finally! THE 2018 WORLD CUP has dawned upon us. read more from our keen football expert about the teams competing, their status and what this year’s event has in store.

March 2019: Read about football in the city for Here! Dongguan.

Dongguan is now seeing a unique opportunity for talented and ambitious youths that wish to develop their football skills and have the chance to play professionally.

15/6/2019: Murray’s Football 7s hosted in Dongguan features teams from Guangzhou, Foshan, Zhuhai, Shenzhen, Dongguan, and other areas.

DG WORLD CUP

15/10/2019: Newly launched Dongguan World Cup launches featuring the teams Spain, Italy, Team UK, Nigeria, Brazil and China.

26/10/2019: Guangdong Super League relaunches in Dongguan. Two teams from Shenzhen join teams from Dongguan, Zhuhai, Guangzhou and Foshan.

26/10/2019: Shenzhen Blues host a football event.

December 2019: Dongguan World Cup final won by Italian team the against Spanish team.

April 2020: Some time after the Dongguan World Cup, and following COVID-19’s domestic epidemic, but still during the pandemic, football returns. The International Team and Murray’s F.C. host football two to three times a week.

Autumn 2020: DGFC formed by DG Fit Gym with backing from the remnants of Murray’s F.C. Murray’s F.C.’s soul lives on in name and so on. Weekly gym sessions offered alongside Tuesday night football.

Winter 2020: Spain Latins claim the second edition of the Dongguan World Cup beating Brazil in the final.

Spring 2021: DGFC win the Zhuhai International Tournament.

MFC (4)
mmexport1468147279650
Murrays FC 2016 (2)
mmexport1457246378415
mmexport1558165892272
mmexport1522683380697
Authentic-Italian-Serie-A-football-Start-From-DG
_20170515141905-e1495079636272
745720008737310431
015
764392220803016467
mmexport1476720068833
Gulangyu Cup_342a5
WeChat Image_20190523110549
Poster-2-2017-European-Chamber-Football-Tournament-1125-Events-List

Other news pieces.

If you want to go swimming, play board games, link in with HereDG  magazine for other activities, football can push you in the right direction.

Here DG: World of Soccer (by Eddy O’Neill)

Read about an influential Brazilian expat called Mateus who settled here and always buzzing around looking to organise games here.

Students Prescribed Football: The Dongguan Education Bureau issued a formal plan in April that will make playing football mandatory for the city’s students. Primary and secondary schools will be required, starting September…

Amateur Football Goes All-Province. Dongguan is known by its two top CBA teams, but fewer people pay attention to the city’s soccer atmosphere. HERE! reported the formation of the Foreigner Football League last month.


Youth academies too.

Some to look our for include:

ChievoVerona Football Youth Academy. Italian Serie A Football For DG Kids | 意甲俱乐部来东莞教你家孩子踢足球啦 (Professional Coaches From Chievo 来自切沃的专业教练团队). Several class schedules for kids from 5 to 17 years old. 为5到17岁青少儿打造的足球训练课程. Make dreams come true. 让你梦想成真!扫描二维码了解详情 Scan the QR code for an inquiry.

GZYLA Football Academy (Dongguan Sports Center 中文: 东莞市体育馆绿茵球场; Business Phone Number: 13535372958)


When?

Evenings and weekends are most common.


What?

Kicking a sack of air, having fun and trying to score goals – without conceding goals.


Who can you watch?

Guangzhou R&F (广州富力); Guangzhou Evergrande (广州恒大) and Shenzhen F.C, roughly one hour or so away.


Where can you go?

Tournaments around the country such as Xiamen, Zhuhai, Beijing, Shanghai, Shenzhen, and many more places. Or just to Guangzhou for the weekend.


Powered by a Shenzhen Blues.

socail SZBJohn Acton made this for Dongguan. Actually, we share good links with Manchester City Official Supporters Clubs in Shenzhen, Huizhou, Hong Kong and more…

China City Blues (15)
SZ tournament MCFC January 30th 2016 (30)
China City Blues (17)
mmexport1469731372449
Beijing Blues Events May 2018 (6)
derby day 2017 18 season (19)
SZBs May 2019 (79)
006a8iu1gw1f0jul6m7jlj30sg0lcdnr
mmexport1470567212953
mmexport1509890681554
0600_00000_34455846A
P60215-010945
Beijing Blues Events May 2018 (76)
dav
IMG_5916
mmexport1469260988574
Beijing Blues Events May 2018 (24)
SZ tournament MCFC January 30th 2016 (28)
mmexport1526137704468
SZ Blues (6)
006a8iu1gw1f0jul0h0rrj30sg0lcdq0
Shenzhen Blues presentation
mmexport1522683380697
mmexport1530329249465
Beijing Blues Events May 2018 (74)
P60727-112533
mmexport1473519733539
SZBs May 2019 (35)
mmexport1469716790213
mmexport1530378183156
mmexport1476720068833
WeChat Image_20190121175035
006a8iu1gw1f0jukya5wgj30sg0lcwot
mmexport1469616392997
P60727-113658
mmexport1530365037284
155971699231802582
mmexport1530362475827
mmexport1546335208610
mmexport1469373312571
mmexport1469669578870
SZ Blues Christmas 2016 (6)
006a8iu1gw1f0jul4nxa6j30sg0lcn6a
SZBs May 2019 (81)
mmexport1469601060643
SZBs May 2019 (33)
mmexport1558165892272
Shenzhen signing
SZBs (35)
Beijing Blues Events May 2018 (128)
mmexport1469932202891
mmexport1468147279650
mmexport1474077092642
mmexport1526806173742
mmexport1509927733864
mmexport1469343121335
SZBs May 2019 (77)
mmexport1530328359942
P60727-182218
Beijing Blues Events May 2018 (95)
mmexport1469822165964
IMG_5920
mmexport1474527095130
mmexport1468162713677
Beijing Blues Events May 2018 (159)
mmexport1476720068833
SZB1
MERRY CHRISTMAS
HAPPY LANTERN FESTIVAL
WeChat Image_20180829215213
WeChat Image_20180829215159
WeChat Image_20180829215146
nationaldaySZB
WeChat Image_20180829215208
SZBs May 2019 (77)
SZBs May 2019 (79)
HNYSZBs
WeChat Image_20180919203147 - Copy
SZBMAD1
WEMBLEY
WeChat Image_20181206174708
mmexport1453462670683
WeChat Image_20181206174712
WeChat Image_20180829215139
MOTHERS DAY
WeChat Image_20181206174725

Football brings us together.

Dear Diary

Good day/Namaste/S’mae/How do/Hello/Nihao,

Wednesday, October 28th, 2020:

What was my favourite moment today? Was it receiving a beeswax candle from a student as a surprise gift? Was it passing the walking grade one students who all sang me happy birthday? Was it seeing a message from mum and the tribe first thing this morning? Perhaps it was the many well-wishes from polite students hither and dither? Maybe the unexpected gift in the post? Actually, it was one student, often of the alive and kicking variety, showing his gentle side and writing happy birthday on the whiteboard. That, and the many great displays of hard work he exhibited today. It is really pleasing to see some of yesterday’s frustrations shape into today’s delights. By the evening, I was shattered and went to bed early.

Tuesday, October 27th, 2020:

The Hunters has been a dynamic TV series so far. Brutal, grim and tantalizing with all the right comic book feel of fantasy and fiction overlapping reality. That’s the series I am watching after binge-watching series one to six of Borsch. I do like a good detective show, especially with the gritty cast, a splattering of suspense and the odd bit of wit. Titus Welliver plays a fleshy version of Michael Connelly’s novel character Harry Borsch. Some good co-stars in Amy Aquino and Lance Reddick make for a good run of episodes. The main star has his flaws and the first season justified a follow of five more seasons, with a post-COVID finale season in expectation. Having read several of Michael Connelly’s novels, this Amazon production was attentive and steered well. Little was overcooked, leaving an engaging piece of TV pie to chew on later. 

Friday, October 30th, 2020:

Our school, TWIS (Tungwah Wenze International School) held a marvellous book character parade and house sports day, sandwiched around parents’ day and a fantastic lunchtime buffet. After quite an exhausting day, I retired to my apartment before scooting over to Houjie town and Irene’s Bar. Here, without the day’s earlier bee costume, I met my friends Echo and Ani. Ani had recently returned from Argentina via Amsterdam and quarantine in Shanghai. Echo shall shortly say farewell and depart to Yunnan to live an adventurous life as an artist. Catching up was good. Also, Irene, Marcus and their staff at the bar were super-welcoming and the food was fantastic. It remains my favourite bar in a country of 1.5 billion plus people. A mixture of the west and China at its finest.

Thursday, October 29th, 2020:

My birthday cheesecakes arrived the day after, due to an error on my part, At the age of 37, I’d ordered them fully in the belief that my birthday fell on a Thursday. It didn’t. My class and immediate colleagues devoured the majority of the blueberry cheesecake. The chocolate cheesecake made the staff room refrigerator and mostly survived a whole night before being gobbled and scoffed accordingly. I had a slice the following day too.

Saturday, October 31st, 2020:

In the afternoon, I played 5-a-side with Murray’s F.C. for the best part of two hours. Following a late dinner, I had another early night’s sleep. I plan to work extra hard this coming week, so a spot of avoiding Halloween didn’t worry me too much. It has surprised me how a festival from Ireland became very American and is now very much here on Chinese shores in all its commercial glory. It’s for kids and adults to enjoy equally, but it certainly has become part of the fixture and fittings here as east meets west. Not bad for a festival supposedly banned in primary schools.

Sunday, November 1st, 2020:

Today, I discovered that the WeChat yearly balance is limited to 100,000RMB (12,504.44-ish Pound sterling). That’s great. My SPD bankcard has expired, possibly. Now, I need to affix my Bank of Dongguan card (which I have been trying for 3 years, and recently thought I had attached it, but it hadn’t). During this last year I’ve certainly handed over 340RMB weekly (football pitch hire, having received just under that amount from our team players) and at the weekends a similar of larger amount. So, that’s probably 14,950rmb since April, plus flights, salary, accommodation, travel, etc for me, and even others. So, I can see how I hit that limit now. Hindsight of a wee problem.

Monday, November 2nd, 2020:

Manchester Utd. footballer and social-influencer Marcus Rashford is campaigning to end child starvation in the U.K. He’s pushing for the Conservative-led government to subsidise and help kids eat during Britain’s pandemic conditions. Like many hungry children, Marcus Rashford is up against the elite House of Commons membership who get subsidised or paid lunches in the heart of the government. All this as England enters a month-long lockdown from Thursday. Not immediately does lockdown come. Only Britain, can delay it, as if it was a train due at London Paddington. The socio-economic nightmare that the U.K. faces is well and truly into a new wave. Godspeed and good luck. Stay safe.

Thank you kindly for your time.

ALL CHANGE.

How do! / 你好 (nĭ hăo) / Namaste / Welcome!

August 2020 has seen a few new components to my life. A new apartment. A new place of work. A new kettle. A new model bridge in the balcony garden. And finally, like Star Wars, a new hope. Moving from Changping to Songshan Lake and Dàlǐngshān (大岭山) was relatively straight forwards.

The new apartment sits over the line of the township borders. I live in Dàlǐngshān but I work in Sōngshānhú district (piànqū / 松山湖片区). Dàlǐngshān Zhèn (大岭山镇) is part of Sōngshānhú but these days Sōngshānhú is a very high-tech centre within the 6 townships that surround Sōngshān lake itself. Shilong (石龙), Chashan (茶山), and Shipai (石排) aren’t really that close to the lake area but they’re part of the district. The lake area is mainly surrounded by Dàlǐngshān, Dàlǎng (大朗) and Liáobù (寮步). Sōngshānhú as a town has grown from 2003, from a simple high-tech park to the mammoth green living space around the lake that is now. Huawei and many other tech giants are here. It has a railway station on The Dongguan West to Huizhou railway and will soon join the subway with three stations in Dàlǐngshān on the line 1 route (东莞轨道交通1号线/Dōngguǎn Guǐdào Jiāotōng Yī Hào Xiàn), and one at Sōngshānhú itself. The new line opens in 2022, so I won’t get too excited right now. The subway Line 3 will also have 4 stations in Sōngshānhú but that hasn’t began construction.

The new job has been welcoming, well-paced and full of encouragement. I am confident that this is a new start with great potential. Two former students are following me from grade 3 at St Lorraine Anglo-Chinese School to the new Tungwah Wenzel International School (TWIS). I’m sure that they will enjoy their grade 4 class – and I will have to work hard as their Home Room Teacher to ensure that they do. Between various conference calls, meetings and introductions there has been good coffee and ample time to down tools to think of a plan of action. I am terribly excited about the coming semester. Even amongst these COVID-19 times there is a lighthouse and beacon when we look in the right places.

Dàlǐngshān town isn’t far away, and in the relatively short time since I first went to Dàlǐngshān, the place has grown and has modern districts, several branches of Lauren’s Pizza and even a Walmart. There are universities and amongst the Guangdong Medical University is just over the road from me and DG University of Technology (东莞理工学院) isn’t far off. The lake has one large section that is completely free of cycles and cars. There is a parallel cycle route below a highway and under a cooling tree canopy. Cycling around the rest of the lake is a must. It is a great spot for tourism with backdrops of Huawei’s impressive European-style town and numerous picturesque places along the way. Lotus leaves, lush green sprawls, flowers and bird call should be abundant. Around the many tranquil pathways, you can see Tai Chi, yoga, dates holding hands and families flying kites. I can’t wait to hang up my hammock sooner or later.

“I feel invigorated.” – Those were my words spoken to a new colleague on Friday. The evening was finished with a leaving day drink for Calum from Murray’s F.C. He’s only moving to Shenzhen but felt the need to arrange a leaving meal and drinks. I didn’t attend the meal as all new team members of Tungwah Wenzel International School were treated to a splendid buffet meal at the stylish Dongcheng International Hotel (owned by Tungwah/Donghua group). Even the coach journey was on a Tungwah group coach. They own factories, gardens, estates, hospitals and schools. They’re a sizable group and well-known in this region. Between the blooming peach and plum trees of Dongguan, the group’s assets aren’t far off. The ministry of optimism within my head is thankful for such a great opportunity. My only regret is not buying a crane from the car park exhibition at the Dongcheng International Hotel. Dahan Construction Machinery have some great pieces, ideal for placing hammocks within.

There are plenty of places within a short cycle ride now. Tongsha lake and the parks around it are just a stone’s throw away. Dalingshan Park is between here and Houjie. I’ve already cycled back to Irene’s Bar for a sandwich. There’s much to see and do in the area that I have yet to explore. On my doorstep, I will find the Tongji Bridge (通济桥 Song Dynasty, 920-1279) and cross that bridge soon. It will help me forget my worries. That’s the literal meaning, I believe.

“Quite apart from its meaty content, we believe we have found a real dramatist” – Gerry Raffles of Theatre Workshop speaking about Shelagh Delaney’s play A Taste of Honey.

Every story should have a beginning, an end, and some middle parts. There should be a plot, a setting with characters, some form of conflict (because something must happen), and a resolution (the smooth end). Some books carry the resolution or conflict over a series. That is life. Some things drag on. Others happen and fade away. There is no one-size-fits-all story to life. There will le a logical following and flow to a story because they must run smoothly to allow the follower to tag along. British dramatist and screenwriter Shelagh Delaney (who featured on album cover Louder Than Bombs, by The Smiths) intended A Taste of Honey to be a novel. It is a very famous play now. The drunken working-class single mum of Helen, and a daughter called Jo have spread from the monotonous 1958 skyline of a desolate Salford to London’s West End, Broadway, BBC Radio 3 and the Royal Exchange Theatre amongst other places. Peter, the wealthy southern lover of Jo’s mother Helen and a black sailor called Jimmy feature alongside a camp art student called Geoffrey. It is a complex and heavily questioning piece of drama. Class, gender, sexuality, and race are dissected which for mid-twentieth-century Britain was highly risky. The stars have followed the play with Stockport’s Sally Lindsay, a cluster of soap TV stars and Dr Who extras, Joan Ann Olivier, Baroness Olivier, DBE (born 28th October 1929) and notably Dame Angela Brigid Lansbury DBE joining the productions. A certain Billy Dee Williams (Lando Calrissian) has also featured on the stage for this production. From Salford to Home and Away to a Galaxy far, far away…

But, right here, right now my story at Dongguan’s Tungwah Wenzel International School has just began.

The Mancunian Way, Dongguan

How do! / 你好 (nĭ hăo) / Namaste / Welcome!

“I feel so extraordinary; Something’s got a hold on me; I get this feeling I’m in motion; A sudden sense of liberty.” – New Order’s song True Faith.

I’m patriotic towards the U.K. in a way. I sing praise and fly the flag for great people, wonderful history and fantastic places. I know that the story of the U.K.’s history has often been brutal, cruel and deserves little love. Even within the 21st century the U.K., as it moves away from a colonial and European past, and becomes less connected, yet more dependent on overseas trading and manufacture is and always will be a wonderful country. It’s my home. I was born in Manchester, England. I don’t call myself English. I’m British, when I choose to be. I’m Mancunian always. I have Celtic blood in me from my Irish and Welsh great grandparents. My roots are clear and free. But this tree doesn’t cling to the past and history. This tree wants to expand and be watered by different skies. For me tradition and culture are important but understanding and freedom to choose your own pathway are far more intrinsic to living. This tree is currently sat on its arse in Changping, Dongguan. Today’s and yesterday’s rugby and football have been washed out by Dragon Boat rains. I have some free time.


Today, I want to show a gallery and write a little about the culture of Dongguan and China. I’ve been here for the vast majority of the 2308 days now (11th February 2014). I believe many great days have passed and many more will follow. That’s why I am right here, right now. I arrived and didn’t feel too much way of culture shock. Around me a reasonably established cultured expat community threaded amongst the fabric of the local workforces and people of Guangdong.

“Because we need each other; We believe in one another; And I know we’re going to uncover; What’s sleepin’ in our soul” – Acquiesce by Oasis.

Since, I arrived I have seen Dongguan grow and grow. It is now classed as a Megacity. It seemingly will never stop growing. There are skyscrapers and apartment blocks skimming the sky in every single district of Dongguan. Whereas in 2014, I’d notice dozens of these mammoth constructions and many more sprouting buildings, now I am seeing hundreds and hundreds of established communities and hubs here, there and everywhere. I used to consider Nancheng and Dongcheng as the central axis of Dongguan. Now the townships of Chang’an (home of Oppo), Changping and the ever-growing former fields of Songshan Lake (home of Huawei), and the sprawls of Liaobu town could easily be seen as central areas. The arrival of the Huizhou to now West Dongguan Railway Station (soon to be Guangzhou East) or 莞惠城际轨道交通  /莞惠线 Guanhui intercity railway has added to rapid growth. As it joins the short-named Pearl River Delta Metropolitan Region Intercity Railway System (珠江三角洲地区城际轨道交通). That’s more than 65 railway stations in close proximity to Dongguan. Like all of the Pearl River Delta, this city is growing fast – and going places.

 

When not hopping on 200 km/h (124 mph) railway systems, I have ample opportunity to meet great people. Dongguan‘s community is largely migrant with people coming from all over China and the world beyond. International jet-setters with lives here, include Serbians, Kiwis, and even Scousers. They can be found in some of the office places, factories, bars and restaurants throughout the city. Playing football with Brazilians or Russians, or cycling with Dongbei people is possible or a spot of chess at Murray’s Irish Pub with Ukranian opposition. Anything goes here. Drinking homebrew at Liberty Brewing Company (曼哈顿餐吧) in Dongcheng after playing tag rugby with Tongans, South Africans, Germans and Malaysians makes me realise how lucky I am. This is a city that is tidying up and beautifying itself at an alarming rate.

Throughout the 6.5 years of life in and around Dongguan, I’ve slipped up and down ginnels, seeking out the new and old. There have been trips to pizza joints in obscure areas, Dragon Boat races watched, Cosplay events attended and English competitions observed. Dongguan, like Manchester, has a heartbeat that shows anything is possible and if it isn’t here, you make it. You can make something new, or your bring something to the party. You can sit and complain about people taking your photo or saying, “wàiguórén” (foreigner/外国人) or you can show the people around you, your worth.

This week I was asked by the Dongguan Foreign Bureau to teach them. Sadly, I cannot fit their demands into my day. I’ve bene lucky to narrate advertisements, wear watches for model shoots, test-drive new bicycles and play with new robotics before they reached their target audience or global factory floors. Daily life has been far from mundane here with oddities and pleasures as varied as can be. What’s around the next corner? Well, visas are quicker and easier to get, despite more rules and demands. It seems far quicker than when I first arrived. Sometimes, I doubt that I have done everything right, yet it seems clear and simple. Just a checklist. This week I received my medical report back. Now, I need just a few other items for the 2020/21 visa… That’s progress.

Bridges have been made and links that could prove lifelong. The west and east have collided in bizarre ways often forming a touch of the unique. There has been colour, rainbows and diversity amongst the traditional and the common. There have been flashes of light and inspiration. There have been days when solitude has been sought and there will be more, no doubt, but one thing I find, and have found throughout my time here, people are just that. Just simple down to earth, regular people going about their days, looking for peace and good opportunities to survive or better themselves. There are more cars and less bicycles, which shows that some people’s bank accounts and credit-ratings have improved. Quality of life needs balance, and with that the subway/underground system of Dongguan is projected to change from one line to seven lines.

Words can say how thankful I am for my time here. I am enjoying life in different ways to others, and being who I want to be, when I want to be. I’m selfish or I’m sharing. I’m open or I am closed. I read or I watch. I write or I dictate. There are times to slip unseen, and times to lead an audience. It is good for the mind to be bored or alone. I truly believe that’s where creativity lies. It sits there waiting to be tapped and delivered to paper, computers or other outputs. I can wander from craft beer breweries to model car clubs to fusion and western food restaurants with ease and all of the time remain connected to modern and old China.

There is plenty of ugly in Dongguan, just like the rest of the world. To quote the 18th century French phrase, “ne saurait faire d’omelette sans casser des œufs“:  You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs. Humans must learn from the stains and damage we have caused to our planet globally, whether disease or pollution. We can’t give in. Our cultures, our pride and our people need to fight on and find solutions. Just as #BlackLivesMatter, all lives matter – whether human or worm or bug or panda. Life must find a way. Dongguan is radically changing its energy consumptions, factory practices and the way its environment is being respected. This is good for all. Maybe, I should really put my words into action and finish studying towards the HSK (汉语水平考试 Hànyǔ Shuǐpíng Kǎoshì) course for the Chinese Proficiency Test.

 

Dongguan has gone from a place with a handful of limited cinemas, to those with the IMAX, vibrating seats, private screens and many of the latest releases from the west. KTV bars make way for baseball batting cages, ten-pin bowling, archery cafes and all the latest crazes. The great thing is that with Wechat (born 2011), Alipay etc, you can leave your wallet behind and pay swiftly with ease using these simple electronic methods. Gone are the days of using equations and haggling to get a taxi a short distance. Piles of services are available via your phone, including electrical bills, water bills and Didi (driver and carshare service) is one such saving grace.

During these COVID-19 pandemic times, your phone provides your health code, advice in travel, guidance on health services and help. Dongguan’s local services for healthcare, private insurance and banking are on your fingertips, rather than a a few hours out of work. Life can be as fast or as slow as you wish. In 2010, Dongguan was named a National Model City for Environmental Protection and greenways, green belts and other greenery followed. There are hundreds of parks now, over 1200… it is easier than ever to stay healthy.

There is culture around us, old temples, modern pagodas, relics of time and shells of history. Dongguan’s landmarks are a tad tough to visit now. The Cwa humid subtropical climate here is far above the reported average annual temperature of 22.7 °C (72.9 °F). The rainfall is typical of the land below the Tropic of Cancer now. It is raining cats, dogs and occasionally elephants. Wellingtons and umbrellas are common sights these days, rather than the Dongguan Yulan Theatre, GuanYinShan (Budda mountain), Hǎizhàn bówùguǎn (海战博物馆 Opium War Museum) or Jin’aozhou Pagoda. Even a trip to my local coffee shop, Her Coffee, is like a swim in a river. It is blooming wet lately. As a Mancunian, I feel at home.

I’m here for education – to both teach and to learn. This city has hundreds of educational institutions, even Cumbria’s St. Bees are opening a school here. I’ve heard there are around 550 primary schools, 480 kindergartens and several universities now. To bump into a teacher amongst the 21,000 plus teachers is not unusual. Although it seems every second teacher works for one of the many Eaton House schools here. I’ve heard Tungwah Wenzel International School (TWIS) in Songshan Lake is one school to really watch. Like its neighbouring Huawei school, it is massive with around 1,000,000 square metres of surface area. I’ve seen the modern sports gyms, performance space and technology labs. It uses the latest gadgets and networking. It really is 21st century over there at Songshan Lake. Although Huawei have a German-style train-tram zipping around, piping back to older days. Dongguan University of Technology(DGUT; 东莞理工学院) is one of universities in the area meaning that you can educate beyond your teenage years here. It really is a place to learn. Watch out Oxford and Cambridge! Maybe that’s why Trump is always bad-mouthing China’s growth?

From eating chicken anus, to two weeks of quarantine in XiHu Hotel, Dongguan has given me more time to turn the contents of my head to words. Now that I am ready to publish a novel, I need a publisher, but how to do this during a pandemic? I haven’t a clue, but I know one thing, the challenge will be tough and worth it. Nobody ever climbed a mountain to sit at the top and look down without seeing another mountain, right? At the end of the day, the sun sets only to rise again. Dongguan faced lockdown impeccably and other challenges, just as the world did and does. Chin up, keep going and let’s crack on.

Last night, I ate Korean barbecue with great people to celebrate a treble-birthday, followed by proof that I am terrible at ten-pin bowling and awoke today feeling optimistic. The world is often reported to be going through a pandemic-sized recession. As the world sailed a wave in 2008 and Dongguan grew from that recession, I will everyone to go on. Manufacture a bucket of optimism. Just like the strings of New Dawn Fades by Joy Division, there is darkness but remember these famous lines: It was me, waiting for me; Hoping for something more; Me, seeing me this time; Hoping for something else. In 2008, low-tech industry switched to the high-tech. Boomtime arrived. Chances are that one in five phones around the globe were made in Dongguan. Is your phone Vivo, Oppo, Honor or Huawei? It was probably made down the road from me. So, Dongguan is closer than you think.


Manchester isn’t any place I will visiting in person for some time, so it has to come to me via playbacks of Oasis gigs at Maine Road and the written word. Over the next few months, I plan to read the following Mancunian-connected books:

Hell is a City – Maurice Proctor; The Manchester ManIsabella Varley Banks; Passing Time – Michel Butor; Magnolia Street – Louis Golding; Fame is the Spur – Howard Spring; Lord Horror – David Britton; The Emigrants – WG Sebald; Cold Water – Gwendolyne Riley; The Mighty Walzer Howard Jacobson; Manchester Slingback – Nicolas Blincoe; Vurt – Jeff Noon; A Man’s Game: The Origins of Manchester City Football ClubAndrew Keenan; Mary Barton – Elizabeth Gaskell; Cranford – Elizabeth Gaskell; North and South – Elizabeth Gaskell.

“I was thinking about what you said; I was thinking about shame; The funny thing how you said; Cause it’s better not to stay” – The Last Broadcast – Doves

Mulan, Yuè Fēi, Dragon Boats, Qi Xi & Qing Ming Jie

RECOVERED FROM THE DEMISE OF HUBHAO.COM

Badasses of Chinese History:  Huā Mùlán

 

One of my favourite legends surrounds Ahmad ibn Fadlan’s and his journey north from Baghdad with and observations of Vikings.  Ever since reading the novelisation Eaters of the Dead by Michael Crichton, I have been fascinated by folklores, myths and fables.  In legends we can relate to their accounts, discover our own histories and create a personality we can never possibly know.  In Michael Crichton’s afterword he gave the view that history and legend can be interesting “if presented in the correct way.”  The story he wrote surrounded the legend of Beowulf – in response to a close personal friend lecturing on the “Bores of Literature.”

I’ve never seen Disney’s Mulan, nor have I seen several of the other film adaptations studios have spewed out since the early 1920’s.  The works just do not interest me.  Fascination in China surrounding the story of Huā Mùlán (sometimes referred to as Fa Mulan – Huā means flower) continued with a modern play starring Méi Lánfāng – a man playing the heroine.  Prior to that legends and stories told of this unlikely lass’s rise to the fore.  Disney’s animated effort was the first ever Disney DVD release – and the first cartoon by the same production company to tackle warfare openly.  For many people outside of China it may have also been the first chance to see a little of China’s vast culture and history.  Without it, we’d probably not have heard of Christina Aguilera too (she sang on the soundtrack).

 

The original legend was transliterated in “The Ballad of Mulan” more than a thousand years ago by an author who was never named amongst an anthology that has subsequently stayed mislaid to history.  The oldest copy of the narrative, comprised of just 31 couplets, portrays Mulan’s triumphant military career throughout which she masked her gender from her fellow combatants.  Ultimately she led a war-winning battle and is given reverence by the Emperor.  The Emperor furnishes a cash reward and a senior post in the army.  After twelve years of service and a bucketful of praise, she sought retirement.  Instead of rewards, she opted to live out her days in her hometown.  Home is where the heart is.  Even on returning to her hometown, her companions from the armed forces did not know she was a she, they still thought she was in fact a he.  Twelve years of poor observations on their part.

The famous poem, limited to around 31 couplets, received stage treatment in the 12th century, lay dormant for five centuries before returning to the frontage.  Another stage adaptation and the novel Sui Tang Yanyi pushed Huā Mùlán back into discussion.  Historical bases debated Mùlán’s family name.

Sui Tang Yanyi, Guō Màoqiàn and Chu Renho have the honours for most adapted and printed versions of the Huā Mùlán story.  When was Huā Mùlán around?  Somewhere before the Tang Dynasty and strewth knows when.  There isn’t really anything written down prior to the poem, Ballad of Mulan.  Where did Huā Mùlán reside?  Again, scholars and literary critics will argue until they’re blue in the face.  The Northern Wei (Běi Wèi) is argued by Xu Wei’s play, whereas, the Sui Tang Yanyi romantic novel has her as a founder of the Tang Dynasty.  The poem was written prior to the latter option.  Guō Màoqiàn, a specialist in poetry and written art, compiled original material somewhere around what is now called Shāndōng… …BUT, his existence even evades evidence.  Her name isn’t always the same either – across novels and accounts, with surnames mentioned as Hua, Zhu, Wei, Ren to Han.

Most stories note Mùlán was sat at a loom (an old fashioned clothing weaving device).  She was worried.  One male from each family must be enlisted to the regional army.  Her father was vulnerable and old, her younger brother too young.  Somehow, Mùlán manages to join in their place through some old-fashioned cross-dressing.  Other stories claim that Mùlán would rather fall on her own sword than be ruled by a foreigner.  Chinese culture is deeply rooted with patriotism – and pride, and massively swayed to family loyalty.  I admire this, and many stories of Mùlán echo this sentiment.  In Disney’s film, Mulan has a dog named “Little Brother” as a nod to her younger sibling joining the army – I hear “Little Brother” means something more phallic here.  Chu Renho’s story follows this but diverts in as that Mùlán is captured by troops loyal to Dòu Jiàndé and his quest to be king.  His daughter and self-titled Princess Xianniang tried to recruit her.  On discovering she wasn’t a man, she blew a gasket of excitement.  They became the female equivalent of blood brothers – sworn sisters.

Amongst the Sui Tang Yanyi, Guō Màoqiàn and Chu Renho visions of Mùlán, there are names like Chi Fu mentioned in the story, translating into English as “to bully”.  The central theme seems to be one Confucian virtue grasped atop all others.  Bravery and loyalty sub-themes easily mask this to a degree but respect for one’s elders, ancestors and ultimately one father stand out.  Perhaps in western families with one parent families, it is not so easy to relate but here in China the story is fiercely relative [pun intended].  The big three authors’ incarnations develop an idea of mass casualties, often at the hands of Mùlán’s armies.

Chu Renho’s romantic book Sui Tang Yanyi actually kills the heroine off.  In a twist A Game of Thrones would be proud of, she commits suicide.  Mùlán’s bad luck starts with her return to her hometown.  Her father had long since died and her mother was re-wed.  The bombshell dropped that she’d have to be a concubine for Heshana Khan of the Western Khaganate.  With that she departed this life for the next, so to speak.  Other works give Mùlán a far healthier and happier sending off.  Chu Renho’s previous incarnation had portrayed Xi tūjué (Western Turkic Khaganate, one of many Turkic peoples present in China back in the Early Middle Ages) as siding with the eventual winners of the Tang Dynasty formation.  As sworn sisters their capture in place of the legging-it-for-his-own-life Dòu Jiàndé could have shocked many.  The nature of their surrender included providing their captor, Li Yuan – Emperor Gaozu of Tang, with knives.  In their mouths.  Instead the Emperor and his wife give the captured money.  Princess Xianniang can return to her beloved Luo Cheng and get hitched whilst Mùlán can go and provide for her parents.

 

In researching and reading more about Mùlán via textbooks downloaded, poems, online biographies, questioning my school’s history teachers, observing debates via Chinese language internet forums and several history documentaries obtained via shady copyright-ignorant backstreet DVD shops…. I have come to little conclusion.  Mùlán and the myths that surround her have accomplished almost as much as she originally set out to do.  Her deception and disguise has hidden the truth, so has legend.  Those who know tales of Robin Hood and the folklores around King Arthur will be fascinated forever.

Swathes of legend mask the story of Mùlán.  Whether you believe that the crown Princess Xianniang’s father was vanquished after buddying up with the enemy in the Tang dynasty leading to the proposed execution or not; or whether you believe Mùlán supported her parents; or whether the story has been lost in so many forms of translation is up to you; and did she really fight for twelve years?!  For me, every incarnation is like the next chapter in the James Bond movie franchise, our heroine grows in stature and delivers a piece of action sometimes a little far-fetched, sometimes embellished and often with an amplified degree of life.

In my opinion, I would advise you to go back to the Dr. No of Mulan.  Read the original 31 couplet poem and relish this scarce but valuable specimen of a fervently strapping woman deep from the annals of Chinese legendary literature and possibly a parody on real unconfirmed history etc.  I challenge you not to take inspiration from Mùlán, the first real embodiment of Superman.  Now we can look to the skies and think about the planet Venus, with a huge crater named after Huā Mùlán – that and behold the future live action Disney release by the same moniker; or we can nip over to the city of Xīnxiāng (Hénán) for a statue entitled Statue of Mulan.  All remains a beautifully stoic mystery that has slipped into popular culture and remains debated.

Wei Yuanfu’s, “Song of Mulan” from the 11th-12th century sums up the vagueness of the story by concentrating on the key point:

 

If in this world the hearts of officials and sons

Could display the same principled virtue as Mulan’s,

Their loyalty and filiality [NB:  the relation or attitude of a child to a parent] would be unbroken;

Their fame would last through the ages—how could it be destroyed?

 

For further reading or vieiwing:

  • Mulan: Rise of a Warrior (2009 film) – Live action film about the Chinese legend. Stars Chén ZǔMíng (Jaycee Chan, son of Jacky Chan) and Zhào Wēi (Vicki Zhao) – who holds around 12 internationally recognised Ambassadorships.

The Legend of Mu Lan:  A Heroine of Ancient China, written and illustrated by Jiang, Wei and Jiang, Cheng An.  ISBN: 1-878217-00-3. (You can even buy a boxset with a doll http://www.heroinesinhistory.com/mulan.html)

The Ballad of Mulan, retold and illustrated by Song Nan Zhang

Pan Asian Publications 1998

The Song of Mulan, Front Street Press

China’s Bravest Girl, Children’s Book Press

Fa Mulan: The Story of a Woman Warrior, Robert D. San Souci, Hyperion Books for Children 1998

The true story of Mulan.    Retrieved May 10th 2015.  (There is a good powerpoint for use in school classes too).

And if you like graphic novels, look up the surreal Deadpool Killustrated (2013), Hua Mulan joins an Avengers Assemble-style cast with Natty Bumppo, Beowulf Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson in H.G. Wells’ time machine.


Badasses of Chinese History:  General Yuè Fēi (岳飞) and four characters (utmost, loyalty, serve and nation:  精忠报国)

 

What is loyalty to you?  Following your rugby or American football team through thick and thin from birth?  Remaining in a job where you barely make ends meet, despite offers from elsewhere?  Collecting the latest batch of belly button challenge website links on your WeChat wall, regardless of the fact the challenge has become boring to most?  When I ask colleagues and friends about General Yuè Fēi, they all mention his undivided loyalty.  I guess that is why he is rumoured to have been tattooed with the phrase “serve the country with the utmost loyalty” (精忠报国 / jìn zhōng bào guó) by his mother.

The four words of Yuè Fēi’s tattoos are noted as appearing on the 1489 stele (a kind of annual rock carving on a slab) placing him in contact with the small Kaifeng Jewish community.  Many communities would encounter him through his time.  Often depicted as a poet, Yuè Fēi has no quotable poetry, according to Princeton University Prof. James T.C. Liu.  The wording on questionable poetry was almost certainly written fair later in history.  His combat inevitably led him to self-repair and a brief study of traditional Chinese medicines.  His teachings hereafter had further depth, assisting his troops on the field.  His other strengths lay in encouraging scholars to come to his troops’ camps and lecture about champions of old, heroes of the nation and deeds done in the name of good.  The double-edged sword meant the scholars would undoubtedly pass on his name and conquests.

Praying Mantis Fist (螳螂拳 / tánglángquán) or Praying Mantis Boxing is a form of aggressive combat created by The 18 Masters invited to improve Shaolin martial arts.  The style of attack is speedy and would probably leave Floyd Mayweather, Jr standing still.  There are knee, elbow and wrist and arm strikes like no other – fittingly reflecting the agility of the praying mantis insects.  Like many legends lost in translation, Yuè Fēi’s part in creating this style is hyperbole.  A historical fiction novel Water Margin (水滸傳Shui Hu Zhuan) and other texts link Yuè Fēi to the noted creators but not as the creator himself.  That said, the movement “Black Tiger Steeling” is accredited to him by the famous Mantis master Yuen Man Kai.  Yuè Fēi’s name is heavily linked to the creation of Eagle Claw (鷹爪派 / yīng zhǎo pài) and XíngYì Quán Boxing 形意拳).  The former was created for low ranking soldiers, whilst the latter became a necessary tool for his officers.

In legend and fiction Yuè Fēi is noted to have studied under Zhōu Tóng (周同) learning varied techniques of combat underscoring brutal skills like joint-locking and something called elephant style boxing (which sounds cumbersome at best).  His methods and teaching conveyed to the battle field with armies swept aside during the Jin dynasty.  His name is attached to several boxing techniques Yue Family Fist (岳家拳 / Yuejiaquan).  Whether he studied Buddhism to adapt things complexly named as the “Tendon Changing and Marrow Washing QiGong” routines into his own methods is up to the academics to debate, but one thing for sure is Yuè Fēi is deeply embedded in martial arts forming in and around his time.

Yuè Fēi’s birth is also subject to mystery and legend.  The book, History of Song (宋史; /Sòng Shǐ) details some interesting stories.  At the time of the parturition his parent’s neighbours ran over with buckets of water to douse a fire on the horizon.  There was no fire.  Péng (鹏), a mystical bird creature, landed before ascending out of sight and hence the name Fēi (飛) meaning fly was given to the new born child by his father.  Yuè Fēi’s father was advised by a local monk (reported to be the immortal Chén Tuán) to dip both mother and Yuè Fēi in a water tank should the small Yuè Fēi start crying.  After several days, baby Yuè Fēi cried.  Mother and baby went for a bath.  The bath washed away as the Yellow Rover burst its banks.  Mother and child remained safe.  Sadly, his father perished in the terrible floods.  The story goes that Yuè Fēi was in a previous life, a Péng.  On hearing of this, an enemy dragon (once blinded by the Péng that would eventually become Yuè Fēi) flooded the river as an act of revenge.  It failed.  Struggling for money, his mother did some needlework for the family housing them.  Nearby to their dwelling was a cave.  As a teenager Yuè Fēi is said to have gone into a cave, enraged a colossal snake, and as he dodged the snake’s probing strikes it vanished.  Puff.  Gone.  A magic spear of the flowering spring (沥泉神矛/ Lìquán Shénmáo) is said to have been left behind following this.  This led him to seek weaponry and combat teachings.

Zhōu Tóng is noted to have led Yuè Fēi to a Buddhist recluse who passed down the skills of his combats.  Around this time teachings by the master archer Zhōu Tóng led to great skills with the bow and arrow, military tactics and spear work.  Skirmishing with hand skills and horse-riding likely came about too.  Yuè Fēi’s alleged inner strengths came from his wisdom of Buddhism.  Zhōu Tóng was his Jedi Master prodigy.  Yuè Fēi seemed to soak up skills and knowledge.  In Hellmut Wilhelm’s From Myth to Myth: The Case of Yueh Fei’s Biography Yuè Fēi is reputed to have sought replication of famous national heroes and had been influenced by reading works by Zuo Zhuan, Wu Qi and Sun Tzu.  His father Yuè He (岳和) had implanted such material on his son.  Did he simply want to mimic those he saw as his supermen?  In reading some of the accounts of Yuè Fēi, there is touch of melodrama, good versus evil and a story that could easily form the plot of a new trilogy of Star Wars movies.  There is love, hate, fights for freedom and war.

The Biography of Yue Fei and the records of E Wang Shi mention Yuè Fēi’s learning from Zhōu Tóng at an early age.  They also mention another mentor, the spear master, Chen Guang (陳廣) who was hired as a kind of Jedi Master Yoda to oversee his stick fighting skills by Yuè Fēi’s grandfather Yao Daweng (姚大翁).  This was a boy conditioned for battle.

War.  What is it good for?  Absolutely everything in a time of conflict and invasion.  From his home in Tangyin County, Henan province, Yuè Fēi was recruited by the Song military in 1122 recruited Yuè Fēi.  In 1126, his squad supressed waves of warlord rebellions in northern China.  This took away much resource from the battles against the Jin.  As the defence of Kaifeng fell, his next movement was to an army in Jiankang.  His rise was spotted as they defended the Yangtze from the invasive Jurchens.  The Song court promoted him to General in the year 1133.  His counterattack against the Jin-backed puppet state of Qi led to many regained territories.  His and other Generals’ armies beat off the invasion allowing for the continuing Song dynasty.  After defeating enemy upon enemy, and against the flow of traffic, he was called back to the Southern Song capital by the Emperor in the year 1141.  Having once defeated 100,000 invaders with only 500 men, for some reason, lost to shelves of history, he was hanged.  Falsified charges by Emperor Gaozong’s servant Qin Hui at fear of exiled Emperor Qinzong’s return no doubt playing a part.  He died aged 39 years old.

In the biography of Yuè Fēi (鄂國金佗稡编/Eguo Jintuo Zubian) written by his grandson Yue Ke (岳珂) there are several approaches that Yuè Fēi utilised efficiently to position his armies. Yuè Fēi rewarded his soldiers well and delivered punishments just as equally.  Discipline was tantamount to forming his armies.  There was to be no pillaging or destruction.  Theft was punishable by execution.  Handing out his own personal effects or threatening to execute his own bloodline for failure was not beneath him.  Clear orders were given and to be taken without a fiasco.  Training was key, and when not in battle, rigorous training and fitness regimes were met.  One day swimming through muck, the next clambering up stones and walls.  When on leave the soldiers trained because they knew how hard they would be put to a task on camp or in a battle.  The usual weaponry and movements were worked on also, but always as close to the real thing as possible.   Yuè Fēi could have started his own Marine Corp or S.A.S.  He would handpick soldiers, even sending home the unfit or elderly.  Inheriting the Han Ching and Wu Xu armies, he sent more than half packing.  For those that remained, he tried to treat them equally sharing wine, even if watered down amongst every soldier – and taking shelter only when his troops all had shelter.

After his death, former soldiers and officers spread his techniques across China, and even back to Shaolin where Li Quan (麗泉) invented Northern Ying Jow Pai boxing – something combined with Yuè Fēi’s previously formed Rotating Fist fighting style (翻子拳 / Fānziquán).  Regarded as a folk hero for defending his country from a northern invasion despite wishing to look after his elderly mother.  Yuè Fēi’s mother’s wish for him to serve his country unbrokenly led to an uncontested unbeaten run in battles.  A poem, The River Turns Red reports:  “I’ll drive a war chariot and smash apart the Helan mountain pass!”  The poem further goes on to show his strength, devotion and care for those who served under him.

After his execution, the legend of Yuè Fēi grew and remains popular amongst storytellers.  Like the legend of Mulan and Zhuge Liang, within Chinese history, mythology and fact can be exaggerated or rewritten.  Yuè Fēi’s history and myths are equally as fascinating and certainly noteworthy of more cultural reading.   He is often wrongly depicted as the individual General who defeated the Juchins; someone fluent in Classical Chinese studies and a knowledgeable Confucian academic – again all likely to be balderdash.  His Grandson, Yue Ke, released a biography, which helped to fan the flames of amplification.  Still, it isn’t a bad way to get temples and shrines devoted to you; like the P.R. powers behind Tom Sawyer or Keyser Söze.

 

For further reading or vieiwing:


 

Enter the dragon’s head

 

Let’s start at the beginning, where all good and bad tales always initiate.  In this case, Thanksgiving Day 2015.  “Hey John, can you go and teach about Thanksgiving Day in an hour?”, my Head of Foreign Languages (just, English, in this case) asked me.  I responded that I know zippity-doo-dah (naff all, nowt, nothing) about said event.  I must confess to making up everything that day (hopscotch is a traditional Thanksgiving game, correct?).  Anyway, that day I met Mr Wong in the Qiáotóu village primary school [their song is called “Dragon Boat Emotion”] and since then we have been friends.

The happening takes place on the lunar calendar date 5th of the 5th month (or Gregorian date 20th June 2015), it popped around after a long day watching dragon boat races in Wàngniúdūn (望牛墩), Zhōngtáng (中堂) and Daojiao (道滘) I went to meet Mr Wong to watch a different kind of race in Qiáotóu (the village in Houjie and not the district in north-eastern Dongguan).  I was shattered but I was curious.  What was going to happen next?  I met Mr Wong in Qiáotóu military barracks, I mean Qiáotóu square.  Centrally stacked was enough ordnances to power the Chinese space programme to save Matt Damon.  Tables stood, village officials and government-looking folk lingered around.  Policeman uncoiled large red wheels of bangers and volunteers edged outwards setting a large viewing area.  Mr Wong called me just as an eruption of firecrackers hit by ear like an angry Muhammed Ali squatting a mosquito.  Through odd breaks in the sounds I was being invited to “come join my team!”  So, I did just that…

Mr Wong’s four-wheel drive vehicle bounced along the narrow streets of Qiáotóu as if we were being pursued by a Tyrannosaurus Rex.  The journey started at Qiáotóu square and ending deep in a chasm of villages that make up Qiáotóucun.  The local buildings excluded modernisation and seemed to be constructed of less plastic and concrete.  Warmth, tradition and air of care clung on like the windows in the walls.  Electrical cables formed no order, strung from building to sorry looking building.  Bricks replaced concrete and rubble replaced tarmac.  The earth infrequently offered green chutes within this area.

Here I was to join a dragon boat race of sorts.  Water not included.  Well, just drinking bottles.  Mr Wong said foreigners never enter this village, and have never had reason to – there are no multinational production companies.  I was greeted extremely warmly and asked to join the red team.  Being a Manchester City F.C. fan, I did not like that idea.  However, I was a guest welcomed to unknown traditional activity.  Whatever it was, I wanted to know about it.  Sacrifices had to be made.  I donned a red t-shirt (I had my purple Manchester City shirt underneath to prevent red t-shirt to skin contact).  It seemed they had planned my visit, the only XXXXL shirt was for me.

 

In 2016, I was invited back by Mr Wong and his friend Mr Marco Chen.  Not to be confused with the Dongguan township of Qiáotóu (桥头镇), Qiáotóu (桥头) is located in southern Houjie town, east of Fengshan park (凤山公园) and south of Houjie’s Line 2 subway station, Shanmei (珊美).  To the south of Qiáotóu is the Exhibition Centre (展览中心) Line 2 subway station.  Qiáotóucun (桥头村) is actually a village made up of seven hamlets.

The procession historically began and concluded at the village Ancestral Temple or Cítáng (池塘).  In the present day, they commence at various Cítángs finding their finale at the village square.  The view from the biggest Cítáng in Qiáotóu stands over the fish pond (池塘/Chítáng, sounds like Cítáng).  At the Cítáng, villagers gather and make important decisions.  Important blessings and ceremonies are held here.  Events gather and ancestral heritage is preserved here.

The tradition, at first, I was told, by one villager, “dated back around six generations and was brought about due to the drying up of several village creaks and two men who raced, carrying large dragon boats, down a village street.”  This stimulated my inquisitiveness much more.  Soon enough, I had a rounder story.

The most consistent account told from generation to generation is one of a severe drought.  Mr Marco Chen, an intellectual-looking chap told me, “The reservoirs and creaks dried up.  For a long time, no rain came.  People prayed and pleaded for rain.  The villagers held an event to show god how genuine their need for water was.  In desperation they displayed a wooden dragon’s head, of a very dry nature, to symbolise luck and best wishes.  Their unadulterated and sincere plea was answered.  A great rain came and the villagers felt blessed and touched deep down.  Every year that followed, the villagers repeated this as a thank you to god.”

The dragon’s head sounds like a name of a public house back home.  In actual fact there is far more at play here, there is a sacred bond between village of Qiáotóu and their dragons’ heads (there are more than one now).  It symbolises happiness, good luck, and good fortune.  There is a belief if you carry it, you shall be blessed with a baby boy [I had noticed many dragon’s head carriers have their young daughters alongside them].  Each hamlet of Qiáotóu has a dragon’s head, a flag and colours.  A privileged few have held the dragon’s heads, bringing belief confidence and many baby boys to those who have held it proudly up high.

At first it was villagers who joined this occasion, then their extended family, and long after friends of their family, until now where far more people connect.  They link into this most historic and unique South China tradition, that is still little known outside of Houjie.  Marco tells me, “A day before, twigs are gathered.  New members are encouraged to join in preparations.  In older times the eucalyptus plant was favoured but now is found to be less abundant.  There are the usual dragon boat festival foods, like Zongzi.  On the night before the event, local children take a bath with goose eggs.  The eggs are put in a net, which is placed into the bath.  This symbolises the hope of children growing up very quickly.”

My team, one of seven in Qiáotóu, was approximately 2500-strong, from toddlers to the very much elderly.  Here everyone was given either a branch (to beat the clouds away from the dragons), a flag (the red or yellow colours of the village), a drum (noises to replicate the racing beats), or replica dragon boats (finely carved but festooned with neon lights).  The team was led by a man holding a wooden dragon’s head.  I was an amateur and newcomer.  I was given a branch.  A small branch at that.  A really small branch.  It was a twig.

We soon set off, joining the red tribe.  There were yellow, blue, green, orange, black and gold tribes around the large village streets.  The object was to snake around the village.  On meeting the other tribes, firecrackers were thrown at their feet to signify the battle of the racing boats.  The team that did not dance well with those who carried the dragon heads and small boat effigies performing their moves, decided without hesitation by the opposing teams, had to turn around and snake another route.  The village’s most-eldest people watched on from doorways and seats around the area.  As a westerner, I knew I would stand out.  I was greeted with curiosity and welcomed by all.

This event happens annually but only for a few hours.  The first time I joined, I felt wave after wave of euphoria and privilege to have been invited to such a matchless and rare occurrence.  Again, at my second coming, I feel fully euphoric.  Through working for Worlda Guangzhou, I was posted to Dao Ming Foreign Language School, who sent me on a Thanksgiving Day task to Qiáotóu’s state school, where I met Mr Wong, who has friends involved in this annual event.  A set of links so finite that led to me experiencing something so exceptional and spell-bounding.  I felt joy, like never experienced for many years before, like a kid at Christmas, unwrapping a present, not suspecting that his parents have worked exceedingly hard to buy them that Lego set the kid dreamed he would never ever reach.  I was that kid once, thanks to my mum, I had that gift – and through her (and Dad’s) gift of life to me, I experienced that moment.  The moment has gone, but every now and then life throws something beautiful my way, this was that twinkling ticking trice.

Over the years, tribalism has rocketed, exploding with each clan being rewarded at the central square for their final dance.  The central Qiáotóu Square is where the judges convene and do their best Simon Cowell impressions.  The team of kinfolk from Qiáotóu that wins, receives honours and a prize for their ‘hood of Qiáotóu village.  On asking Edison to translate my questions to many locals, it became apparent that this is a totally unique form of this festival nationally.  This time around, I was interviewed for local television, asking my opinion on this unique and vibrant exclusive custom.  A rainbow with sounds, drums, whistles and firecrackers.  Friendly faces welcome me continuously a team clad in red and yellow invite me to lift the dragon’s head.  I lift it.  I will probably have a baby boy [pending ongoing logistical problems].

With backing of the government to this ritual and protection from commercialisation, outside exposure allows gentle promotion of this intangible local heritage and culture.  Fireworks and firecrackers are allowed by special permission of the government.  The powers that be strictly observe the position and routes of said fireworks ensuring all around are safe and buildings are not put at risk.  The villagers are extra careful in protecting their culture and edifices.

Mr Marco Chen highlights, “The current dragon boat traditions of Qiáotóu encourage team building and bonding.  We ensure as a team, we visit every other team’s Cítáng (池塘) to show communication of the villages and brotherhood.  Togetherness in our villages is most important.  It is a quality we want each new generation to carry forward.  We retain old world values and traditions whilst now including entertainment.  There are prizes for winning team displays and happiness is shared with family and friends.  There are skills used and learnt, tradition, generations together and positive attitudes throughout.  This teamwork is most important to Qiáotóu, and now beyond.”

 

To see the event, or to explore Qiáotóu, locate the many Ancestral Temples (Cítáng/池塘) and head around towards Qiáotóu square (alongside Guantai Lu) from 8pm to 10pm on the 5th evening of the 5th lunar month [9/6/2016; 30/5/2017; 18/6/2018].

 

Further reading:  Title: Drought Longxiang; ISBN-13: 9787536049475; ISBN-10: 7536049471; Author: BEN SHE YI MING; Binding: Paperback; Publisher: Flower City out; Published: December 1991; Price: 56RMB; Synopsis: An introduction to the festival.


 

The Case Against Qi Xi Festival

China has a rise on love dates in its ever-growing and evolving love culture, but is it all codswallop?

 

The letter l resembles the number one, and o as zero, v could be seen as the roman numeral V and e as a letter nowadays akin to electronics. Ladies and jelly spoons, I give you the October the 5th, love your electronics day. That is how some of the logic behind dates, that loosely resemble Valentine’s Day, appear to me.

I have no gripes with truly traditional dates, but it seems here the overlords of capitalism have stepped in and labelled everything according to the monthly sale of choice. The mythology behind QiXi (七夕節) and its older than 2600-year old history is interesting and worthy of a read. Sadly, an evening of sevens is like every other Valentine’s day, a chance to promote discount red panties and half-priced popcorn at the cinema.

What astounds and boggles the mind is the pick and mix of dates on offer to show your love (whether you are an abusive lover or a gentle giant). 20th and 2st of May, a is full of phonetics [“I (5) love (2) you (0/1)”]. Unlike QiXi, this date will never make National Intangible Cultural Heritage status. Regular February the 14th rears its head with standard décor and sales galore. 11/11 is a sacred date in the U.K., tied to remembrance days and mourning. Here all those ones mean single. Similarly, it could also be a digital on switch day. Lantern festival (元宵节) once carried a similar weight in ancient times for headhunting new love. Now there is a sale of lovely items tied in for fans of fanciful fondness. There seems to be a romantic date every week.

Many shops fill with bouquets of flowers, purple teddy bear crazes, tedious looking poetry pieces, chocolates (usually of bitter taste), and gifts of fancy that look at home in a very much discounted discount store. Call me the Scrooge of lust and adoration, but some tacky items are so bad, I question who came up with such ideas. It is the same for almost every occasion and often something straddles Hallowe’en, Easter and Christmas just because it has different shades of glitter.

It is great to see a happy couple minding their own business and enjoying life. Unless, they wear matching t-shirts, adorn themselves in signage to declare their commitment, or post WeChat posts of every moment they shared together (with the world), or get snagged in by supposed romantic restaurant specials. Stay at home, cook something amazing and keep it to yourselves. It isn’t a pissing competition. Tell commercialism, materialism, and face to have a day off. In the days leading up to these sort of dates, expect prices to double, treble and add on some more. Your money is wanted. Your love is the weapon for the faceless businesses. If it happens to be a case of the more expensive the gift, you give results in a feeling of the more you love him/her/it [modern world, folks] then maybe you should be investing in yellow roses, umbrellas and shoes [Symbols of a break up].

Jewel prices will rocket, fruit will be carved into heart shapes, perfumes may appear to be everywhere, and cheap looking teddy bears will breed out of hand. Resist the dark side. There may even be an imbalance of giving but not receiving, maybe that is normal, I wouldn’t know – as I avoid giving gifts on commercialised festivals.

I am off to collect WeChat numbers off rotten oranges I’ve spotted in the River Dongjiang. If you truly care about the one love in your eyes, do something from the heart on any day of the year, preferably one that doesn’t phonetically sound like the word love being whistled by a songbird perched on a daisy overlooking fern gully. Be natural. Don’t be dictated to by the shops and restaurants. Enjoy the 5th of October.


 

In Brief – Q M J

What is Qing Ming Jie? Well, firstly, it is known by many names. Qingming Jie (清明节) is most common in the English tongue. It is often referred to as Tomb Sweeping Day (扫坟节) and sometimes known as Ching Ming Festival (清明節). Some refer to it as Ancestors Day. It commemorates the onset of spring as well as one to remember forefathers. It is a date for clearness and brightness (清明节means ‘clear and bright’). Think Mexico’s Día de Muertos (Day of The Dead), Ghost Festival (Malaysia etc) and Bon Festival (Japan), Samhainn (Scotland/Ireland), or Totensonntag.

When will Tomb Sweeping Day be? It falls on Tuesday 4th of April in 2017, 2020 and 2021, and the 5th of April in 2018 and 2019. It follows the solar equinox of Spring. It is either on the dates of the 4th, 5th or 6th of April. However, across China it can differ. In Hebei, it may start a week earlier, and in Guangdong the sweeping of tombs is on the eve of the day itself.

Why is it important? This is a chance to remember past ancestors.

What happens? Relatives clean and sweep graves. Ancestors are worshiped. There is often an offering of food to the deceased. Expect to see the burning of joss paper (zhǐqián金纸). Qīngtuán(青团) is often eaten. It is a green dumpling, made of barley grasses (Hordeum murinum), mugwort (Artemisia argyi or Artemisia verlotiorum species). It is quite glutinous. Prayers are cast and flowers often given to the buried or cremated. Revolutionary martyrs are celebrated.

When did it holiday begin? It officially became a public holiday as recent as 2008. However, the origin of the festival spans as far back as 636BC. Emperor Ming of Tang (武隆基) stopped the elite from their regular homages to ancestors and decided one day a year was enough. He decided that the Cold Food Festival – Hanshi (寒食节) was a good time. Visiting old tombs, cock-fighting, swinging on children’s swings, the freshening of blankets and tugs of war filled a vibrant celebration of fallen lineages.

Is it a sad day? Yes, and no. Losing a loved one is always sad. It is also a chance to celebrate the love of life. Happiness and solemnness sit together.

Can you join in? You don’t need to kneel at a graveside prostrating to the lost. You don’t even need to offer food or wine by way of sacrifice. Whilst some offer mobile phones, you can even hire someone to go pay tribute for you. You can fly kites, celebrate the arrival of spring, and take a spring outing. This dates as far back as the Tang Dynasty. Or, you could even plant a willow tree. Some people even tell ghost stories… Hiking is also a popular pursuit.

Cup of tea? It is likely an expensive tea you are enjoying might be a prestigious ‘Pre-Qing Ming’ (清明前). After Qing Ming Jie tea is cheaper, I guess.

Key words for your Chinese:

清明节 (qīng-míng jié) Qingming Festival

扫墓 (sǎo mǜ) sweep tombs

祭祖 (jì zǔ) worship (sacrifice to) ancestors

纸钱 (zhǐ qián) joss paper: paper made to resemble money and burned as an offering to the dead

烧香 (shāo xiāng) burn joss sticks (incense)

Why did I want to write about this festival? Life is wonderful and remembering those no longer with us is part of life. Today is tomorrow’s yesterday. Today is the right time to remember the luck and fortune that has brought us to this moment. If things have been hard along the way, so be it. Just keep moving forward. But, never forget the past.

 

杜牧/Dù Mù’s poem “qīng míng”:

 

清明时节雨纷纷

qīng míng shí jié yǔ fēn fēn

A drizzling rain falls on the Mourning Day;

 

路上行人欲断魂

lù shàng xíng rén yù duàn hún

The mourner’s heart is breaking on his way.

 

借问酒家何处有

jiè wèn jiǔ jiā hé chù yǒu

Inquiring, where can a wineshop be found?

 

牧童遥指杏花村

mù tóng yáo zhǐ xìng huā cūn

A cowherd points to Apricot Flower Village in the distance.

 

Further information: Wikipedia’s guide to Qing Ming Festival.

Myths and legends of Chinese Tomb Sweeping Day via ancient-origins.net.

Travel China explains Qingming Festival.

Qing Ming according to Malaysian Digest.

March 2014’s posts

Last bus from Guangzhou

3 Mar 2014

Last Wednesday, it was all lesson plans in and feet up around ten p.m.

After school on Thursday I had to teach the Chinese English teachers some English.  We discussed the difference in UK working/study hours compared to China.  I can safely say they were shocked.  I also explained on my old school, Reddish Vale, we had a a farm, and no animals were ever slaughtered for food.  They did not understand.  I did stress on the whole in the UK we have a cuddly attitude to animals in general.  I avoided the badger debate.

Later that day, we joined a group of foreign teachers to play (and I use this word loosely) basketball and football.  Suddenly, our status in the community went from being strange western folk to rock and roll stars.  The locals at the quaint square showed us how to play basketball – and we in turn played piggy-in-the-middle with a football.  Some badminton occured but on the whole not much to pass comment upon.

Friday night arrived and we had some grub at the local market with Briony, Becky and Birgetta.  Esben, James, Simon and Liam weren’t allowed as their names do not begin with the letter b.  I’m unsure how we managed to get an invite on that basis.  They did stop by briefly before getting a taxi elsewhere.  The food was akin to Chinese meets Tapas.  We each grabbed some grub (around 50 Yuan, enough for 5 people) and added our own beers (6 Yuan per 600ml bottle).

On the Sat’day, we popped over to Guangzhou by bus (38 Yuan) with Esben and Birgetta.  It took just over 1.5 hours from Houjie bus station (via Dongguan).  The journey wasn’t too bad, with plenty to see, including Baiyun‘s cable car.  We then popped on the busiest underground railway I have experienced to Shamian Island.  Here there is a pretty green gardens full of statues showing old and modern life in the this once colonial settlement.  Oh and birdsong throughout!  This is something I have noticed in Guangzhou and Dongguan so far, there is so little nature!   The whole region has many river basins, tributaries and streams.  You will not see any ducks.  You’ll barely see any birds.

After the little island hop, we wandered though the main market area and eyed the varied spices, dried dead things, funghi, caged birds and plants (loads of Bonsai trees and cacti etc) before settling down for a late lunch at… Pizza Hut.  Think UK Pizza Hut but smaller portion pizzas, regular is tiny.  Oh and they do rice, noodles, Chinese teas, Chinese food too.  Compared to other places, cost wise this equated to 330 Yuan for 4 people.  Massive difference to any local foods.

Once the bill had been paid we headed to the banks of the Pearl River, strolled along and enjoyed the bright lights, hid our distaste of the hook-a-duck style game for bunny rabbits, turtles and little caged birds… delighted at seeing a wild terrapin swimming, only for someone to scoop it up and put it in a box (food or pet?).  In the distance we could see the Canton Tower, very far away.  It is massive, China’s 2nd tallest building – and globally number 5 on the freestanding structure front.  This is one place we shall explore soon!

Our feet grew heavy, so we departed via bus  (30 Yuan each) – changing at Dongguan for a taxi (60 Yuan between 4 of us).  The last bus from Guangzhou to Houjie departs at 1830hrs – and we left at 2120hrs.

And last night I watched Manchester City win the League Cup on Chinese TV, on a sofa.  Armchair fan.

Timetables do not exist

4 Mar 2014

Nín hǎo!

So, today I asked what time do the buses run to Guangzhou and where can I find a bus timetable.  The response gained was simply, “They run diffferently every day and change often, even on the day.”  So if you travel by bus, pray one is there to be journeyed upon.  On Thursday we both have to travel to Guangzhou, to arrive by 1430hrs, by bus.  We leave our workplaces at 1130hrs.  The journey can take anywhere between one to two hours.

Oh and as to timetables, today I had not one, not two but three massive school lesson timetable changes.  Life here is so fast.  People here work hard, things filter through bit by bit.  But on the whole, you’ll not hear me rumbling, life is good here.

Nikki has just wandered in off the streets having been out drinking with foreigners from another school.

Now I shall pop on some Morecambe and Wise* before bed (it is 2210hrs now).  Feel free to email me videos to download etc – and anything you think I can share with my students.  There is a great website here called Tudou which has reasonable streams of recent movies.

zai jian

(*something to get the locals into)

Well Nikki writes a post!

7 Mar 2014

Hello everyone!

Well I finally got the link and password for the blog, so now you get to hear some bits from me. Well week 3 is over can;t wait for the lie in tomorrow. It’s not just me but all the teachers feel tired once we get to Friday. I’m fine teaching the kids as they keep me on my toes, but as soon as I get home thats it I shut down. Really enjoying it here its a great community there isn;t a day that goes by without someone saying hello. I’ve not done any running as yet, but do have trainers for when I start just been busy preparing for the 15 lessons I teach each week. Now I know what I’m doing (kinda) I can start Nikki’s Chinese Bootcamp in the next week or so.

Really enjoying teaching the kids always make me smile. I teach K3 (5-6years old), K1 (3-4) and baby (2-3). K3 is fun as they are really smart and can understand most of what I’m saying/teaching. There are a few kids that constantly speak to me in Chinese so I just keep smiling and saying yes, but I love that they want me to be part of their class. K1 is hard work as they are very playful, but they are my favourite class as I get lots of hugs from these kids (plus I know all of their names as only 12 kids), just need to think of ways of controlling them. Baby they are cute they have no idea of English so its down to me. Now they know my name everytime I walk by their classroom they say ‘Teacher Nikki’, this always makes me smile. I even stay and have lunch at the school with one of my K3 classes, food is better than the free food in the canteen where John eats. They even celebrate birthdays of the kids during the month by having all classes together, we all sing Happy Birthday,play games and then we all get cake! I have already helped redecorate the school with kids crafts/drawings, craft is defo my favourite lesson the kids love it,and during it they are quiet and well behaved.

We hope to explore the area over the coming weeks/months just need to get an idea of how to get to some of these places.

I have chatted to some of you on skype however if you are on skype and have not got my address it is little_nikkinz@hotmail.com would love to hear from you all.

Take care and I’ll write again soon 🙂

In memory of Gran

2014-03-09 08:19:57.0

We’ve just sponsored Family of Ivy Freeman. You can help them raise money for Dr. Kershaw’s Hospice too by donating at www.virginmoneygiving.com/team/IVYFREEMANFAMILY

John & Nikki x

The Cliff Richard fan club

9 Mar 2014

Nín hǎo!

On Wednesday, one of my colleagues, Birgitta had her bag snatched on the way to school.  The culprits sped away on scooters with a bag containing Birgitta’s passport, laptop and purse.  Since then the school community, the local Police and foreign teachers community has really pulled toghether.  Thankfully she wasn’t hurt and has responded positively, despite what was clearly a tough ordeal.

On Thursday we went to Guangzhou to apply for residency, a process pretty painless, save for a reasonable sized queue and the local government office taking our passport/foreign expert certificates off us for about 2-3 weeks.  we have photocopies until they are returned.

Today we went for a wander, looking at some shops and the town centre of Houjie, where we found the first DVD shop I have seen in China (that isn’t found on the back of a wheelbarrow).  We got Muse live at Wembley and an Elbow DVD for 15 Yuan each (about £1.50).  There are recent releases for similar figures too.  There were around 20 shelves of DVDs from the west, but one was wholly set aside for Cliff Richard!  Afterwards we spotted some impressive cacti for sale, alongside goldfish, rabbots and terrapins.  Nothing in China surprises me anymore.

This weekend has been grey and rainy, alike to that of Manchester.  The forecast is to quote the locals very poor (http://www.bbc.com/weather/1809858) – just hitting 20-24C next week.
Nikki wants some plimsole shoe things.  In Houjie, where we live, you cannot move for shoeshops.  Every second shop sells belts, sunglasses or accessories in some form.  Every building, be that shop or house seems to sell shoes.  This place caters for millipedes, with tiny feet.

This past week has been all about preparing lessons for the coming week – and activities for my Grade 5 (10-12 years old), Grade 7 (12/13/14) and Grade 8 (13/14/15) classes.  I have regular classes (around 40 students), VIP classes (8 to 14 students) and classes for PE teachers or English teachers to learn English better.

Tonight, we met several more foreign teachers, a Russian called Ginny, a lad from Cambridge called Adam and his partner Nicky from That London way.  They came with several Chinese teachers for grub at the market.  Nikki seemed to be enjoying hersefl, having shaken off a mild form of man flu manifested in a cough and general aches/pains.  Nowt serious thankfully.

Right time to watch Uncle, downloaded from BBC3 recently.

Zai Jian!

Rest assured it is centre not center

14 Mar 2014

Wǎnshàng hǎo!  Good evening!

“Teacher, you have spelled kilometre wrong!”  Back off American spellings?  No, I had to explain the difference between USA American English and proper English from proper England.  I even avoided a debate on oven bottoms, muffins and barmcakes (cobs etc) – I think here, just calling a bread roll, a bread roll is enough food for though (pun intended).

This week I have succumbed to using a VPN service (roughly £5.70/month) as access to a proper search engine is needed.  BBC iPlayer, Facebook and Twitter is a bonus, that said I won’t spend too much time on them.  A bigger bonus being that I can change the Internet Protocol address to other countries and watch their TV online… good bye free time, hello TV.  Scrap that, TV is not something I am missing that much.  It is good to watch some comedy on every now and then, but it is not essential.  Tonight, a group of us foreigners are off to a Korean BBQ place.  It doesn’t specify if the food is of south of north decent, I assume Korea is unifed it’s love for grub and hate of ostrich meat (topical… but where?).

This week has flown by, work is busy but very, very laid back.  Today, in one class a Chinese English teacher was asleep, in her custom made deck chair.  I wanted to take a photograph but didn’t want the students to notice… oh and no phones are allowed in class… so I didn’t.  It isn’t the first class this teacher has kipped in.  On a sidenote all students sleep from 1245hrs to 1330hrs daily in their classrooms, and most teachers follow suit.  Not me, too much to do.  I have to practice my ping-pong skills (or lack of).

Oh and the PE teachers thought I was scared of a giant spider in my office.  I was trying to catch it to take photos!!!  It was as big as my hand, grey (or gray, sicne 1825 AD in US of A) and quite flat looking, but immensely fast.

This May I have my eyes set on a trip to Hong Kong FC to see MCFC Under-21’s.  Fancy going?

Have a good weekend!

Gàobié / Goodbye!

John & Nikki

The oddity of scale

19 Mar 2014

G’day!

So many people, left, right, centre, behind, infront, all over.  1,363,370,000… and rising by 0.46% per year (ranked globally as 155th on the CIA World Factbook.  The U.K. is growing faster percentage-wise and ranks at 147.  China has 19.1% of the Earth’s people.  China’s official government bureau dedicated to statistics even has its own clock to show the ups and downs.  China has around 141 people per square kilometre, compared to the UK’s 262 people per square kilometre.  So why does it alway feel busy?

Welcome to MegaCity One (one for the graphic novel geeks).  711,820,000 people in China live in large towns, conurbations and cities.  In the U.K., 79.6% of people live in an urban environment.  In China, it equates to around 50% (and rising).  The percentage of arable land set free for farming here is much higher than the UK, as such, 943 people are sustained on each km squares of arable land to the U.K.’s 1077.   China has lots of ghost cities, towns, shopping centres and sparse unpopulated built up areas.  Of the 16 gargantuan apartment blocks I live in, the vast majority stand dormant, dust-ridden and bidding for new occupiers.  One such example was on TV recently here (and after searching online via a very colourful search engine), I have read more into Ordos.  Have a gander, loads of opportunities there.

Anyway, last night I joined Nikki, Bryony, Becky and Bri with the lads (Liam, James, Esben) at the square.  Life here never seems to stop.  At 5pm the roads and public areas are busy, the same at 7pm, 8pm, 9pm etc.  The girls danced in a local version of China’s Got Talent (a big square full of couples and kids, cheap disco lights provided by rollerskate-clad kids zooming by and Chinese music of the disco kind).  Meanwhile us lads (less Esben who fell over in a recent shower accident and gashed his feet – this is his second such fall in as many months) played football with the local children.  I say football, I mean, I’ll pass, James’ll half-pass, Liam will pass, then the local kid smashes the ball at… a) a fellow local kid; b) an innocent passer by; c) in the mush of one of our group’s face.  Proper good clean fun.  Last night we even had a local man join us and show us his silky skills.  There is always a real sense of community and welcoming here.  And dust…

Dust, more dust and dirt.  There is no three second rule.  Chinese people squat to talk or sit somewhere clean.  The floor has no seat,  bags are held onto and not placed down, and anything dropped is pretty much discarded.  Streets have order on the whole, litter is few and far between, there is always a hand road-sweeper to erm… hand.  There is more dust than I care to imagine.  Houjie is under the process of building a major shopping area, new hotel area and railway line.  On top of that every second block has some form of minor re-construction or other building work.  Esben, Liam, James, Bri, Becky and Bryony all live in a block for interns.  On Saturday, they were kept hostage by building work.  The 7-storey building adjacent was occupied last Thursday.  By Friday it was empty.  The top floor relocated to the floor below.  On Saturday morning, the builders blocked the interns into their apartment.  Gravity and physics brought all remaining blocks to the road – blocking the interns’ front door (until around 6pm).  Things just happen here.  No warning signs, no roadblocks, nothing to indicate health and safety.  If Rosie (Health and Safety) at Aviva could see this, she’d be flabbergasted!

That night we went to KTV (Karaoke).  The Chinese love it.  We met the interns, Randy, Armstrong, Vanetia, another Nikki and Mike from a different school at the market for food, crossed the road around 9pm, paid 98 Yuan [around £9.80] (for all 13 of us, including snacks, and 6 drinks to be shared) – it being about 4 Yuan a drink thereafter (about 40p).  In KTV you get a booth/private room (with ensuite Chinese toilet, nowt to shout about), a TV and Karaoke computer ad 2 microphones.  You then murder every song possible.  The selection methods are odd but many western classics are on there.  Each is butchered accordingly.  13 people, 13 lots of differing tastes and a considerable mess later we head home.  For marriage reasons I cannot mention Nikki as being on the porcelain blower to God that night, but to be fair, she had been on the local brandy, and had lager.  Cider and rum being nowhere to be seen.  Ford the record, I sang a couple of songs, badly.  Your rain is on me.

Yesterday, I was bitten on my left cheek (face not bottom) by a mosquito.  Bite number 3 of the Chinese adventure.  I’m fairly certain Nikki has not been preyed upon by the airborne biting fraternity.

Thought of t’ day:  0.83% of Chinese people speak English.  Welcome to job security and demand to all English Teachers.

Local forecast:  (Imperial measurements) (metric methods)

Who’ve we got out here then?

  • Becky, early 20s, from Birmingham/Sutton Coldfield area.  Softly spoken, mean sense of humour when her partner in crime Bryony allows her chance to speak.  You never see Becky or Bryony separately.  They are not Siamese.  Becky is often seen in dresses, she suits them a lot.  Becky teachers in a Kindergarten linked to the school but approximately 10 minutes away by bicycle.  I believe Becky is from the mental health profession originally.  How admirable.
  • Birgitte, AKA Bri, Bree etc, mid-to-early 20s, Norwegian.  Her accent is American.  She looks American.  There is an apple tattooed on one of her wrists, she lived in New York for a while.  Norwegians appear blonder and certainly more fair-skinned.  Bree is going on to teaching at University after this TEFL placement.
  • Bryony, early 20s, from Scarborough/Whitby way, British.  At first I thought Bryony was mouthy, loud and possibly obnoxious.  I could not have been more wrong.  She is just loud.  Brighter than she makes out, a good conversationalist and passionate about teaching the wee ones in Kindergarten.  Her eyes are steel-willed and intense, I will not pick an argument with her at any stage soon.  I think Bryony is pretty down to Earth, a proper Yorkshire type.
  • Esben, from Denmark, around 21.  Dippy, clumsy, accident prone, naive but generally very friendly.  His sense of humour is different.  Still a puppy that is well travelled and needs to relax and stop trying hard to be popular.  Esben loves his hair and beard too much.  Vanity issues.  I think he is the youngest of a few brothers.  He seems to like drinking and living up to a Viking stereotype.  I’ll keep him away from the villages…
  • James, below 20, from Ramsbottom or Rawtenstall, East Lancashire way.  If James was any more laid back he would devolve or become Mork from Mork & Mindy.  He is very giddy over things like dinosaurs and politics but means well.  He can sleep in the average nightclub, with all speakers blazing Justin Bieber or some god awful racket about the fox’s choice of speech.
  • Liam, acts 12, is 18, from Weymouth, Dorset, U.K.  A little boy, but bright, competitive but non-threatening.  He’s different because he is from Southern England, Bath is Barrrtttthhhhfff. He isn’t one of them hoity-toity types.  He seems to be like peas in a pod with James, they’ll miss each other after China.  They may even get married to each other.
  • Simon, early 20s, Swedish.  Stereotype lived up to.  Rarely seen with other foreign teachers, he regards himself as a “token white person.”  He does openly admit to being here for inter-racial relations with the locals.

Not a bad bunch here, very little character clashes so far and certainly no backstabbing or bitching – unless I’m the topic of conversation (unlikely as I am boring).  If you are one of the above and you feel my descriptions have been less than satisfactory, you know where you can recycle the letters and write your own prose or elegy.

That’s all folks!

Something flu by

2014-03-20 03:54:41.0

Dear diary… dear friend… dear John… etc

Sat’day afternoon I was feeling groggy, but nowt major.  Sunday, I seemed to perk up but occasionally had a bout of dizziness.  Monday, my voice, came and went several times over.  I had three classes, it was a managable day.  Tuesday, three classes later and I felt awful.  Along popped Wednesday and cold sweats, hot flushes and every part of me ached.  For two days I have been to bed early.  Today, I feel worse, yet yesterday I seemed to get better as the day went on.  Today, I ache.  Have I been to the gym?  This morning, Bright, the head of department informed us foreign teachers, the sudden change from cool to hot temperatures brings a seasonal flu. That may explain the numbers of sneezing, coughing and spluttering students that are in classes.  There is the odd empty seat as students are off for vaccinations etc too.

Oh and spitting is massively normal and accepted in China.  Hock one up, the bigger the better and gob it out, walls and floors are acceptable.  I won’t be joining this habit!  Yuck.  Great way to control flu…

In the U.K., I pretty much would not have gone to work like this.  Here it is expected, deathbed or doctors before you consider a day off.  It hasn’t been an easy day.  I have not finished my powerpoint presentations or games & activities for next week.  I have done my lesson plans for the 18 classes.  Maybe tonight I will finish, if I stay awake.  Today’s classes have felt like a strain, a burst of enthusiasm seems out of reach.  My Grade 5 students bounced around happily and I just managed to keep them on the right side of anarchy.  Meanwhile my Grade 8 students were half asleep, tired by a combination of hot weather, P.E. classes and flu symptoms.  A half-inert teacher did not inspire them greatly!  The four-in-a-row and racing car games got their attention, mind you!

For lunch we had an option of beef (mostly fat), seaweed and chillis (do not eat when ill or dehydrated) or fishheads (whole) in chilli with green leaves or finally soup.  There is always lots of white rice.  Always.  So rice and beef was today’s lunch time choice for me.  Nikki can eat in my school canteen but opts to eat at her school (they get way more choice, noodles, dumplings etc).  Most foreign teachers avoid “fish-head Thursday.”  I have tried it, but there isn’t much meat on a noggin of any fish.  The eyes taste horrid too.  The brain isn’t that bad.  I’d recommend that.

Anyway off for dinner (evening meal or tea) now.

Ta’ra!

John (Nikki will write soon!)

Maintain lane discipline

2014-03-23 02:47:16.0

Yesterday, we fancied a wander.  In this neck of Houjie, there is the odd park, a river and some sports parks to explore but nowt major to shout about.  So, we set off around noon, the temperature a mild 23C, from our gaff to Nancheng (between here and Dongguan centre).  Two and a smidgen hours later (via a food place that was playing Christmas songs in English) we arrived in Dongguan city centre.  Along the S256 Guantai Road, we deiced we’d head for Dongguan city centre.  13.7km later we arrived at a welcoming park with a half-drained pond, some sort of Chinese talent show stage and a concrete screen of animals you can no longer see as they have been eaten.

Dongguan is massive, but not as big as Guangzhou or London.  It does have some pretty big open spaces in the centre.  The parklands stretch up through the cityscape like a snake descending a tree.  Dongguan markets itself on being green, it isn’t far off.  With our Here Dongguan map and monthly magazine we wandered around aimlessly.  The odd English poster was to be found adorned the odd shop window about ex-pat activities.  Dongguan appeared very new, international but lacking of old buildings and traditional Chinese decor.

The park wasn’t bad, then we had a gander in a shop and Nikki now has some more minions… and I have a bottle of Captain Morgan’s spiced rum for 元91.  Yey!  We had a wrap with something carrot and bread based in, very light indeed

On the way back we grabbed a taxi (after walking from Dongguan centre to Nancheng bus station – nowhere near the city centre!  It is worth noting the other bus station by the South China Mall is much further away too!) and it cost a massive 元23 (or £2.30) for a 20 minute ride back.  Taxi rides, coach journeys and other trips along the road are interesting.  There appears to be very few rules on the road.  Generally cars switch lanes like some wild version of roulette and lanes are optional at the best of times.  Cycles, mopeds, scooters, or three wheeled taxi bike efforts can use pavements, roads (regardless of direction of the lane) head on, alongside, through red lights – with no hint of regulation, and if the Police are present, there is again no rules.  Maybe I should get them to consider cycle helmets.

This week I am mostly trying to learn numbers in Mandarin… and they have a smidgen of logic… but are damn hard to understand.

〇           líng 0

一           yī 1

二           èr 2

三           sān 3

四           sì 4

五           wǔ 5

六           lìu 6

七           qī 7

八           bā 8

九           jiǔ 9

十           shí 10

十一     shíyī  11

十九     shíjiǔ 19

二十     èrshí  20

二十一  èrshíyī   21

二十八  èrshíbā 28

三十     sānshí 30

三十二   sānshíèr 32

四十     sìshí  40

五十     wǔshí  50

六十     lìushí  60

七十     qīshí  70

八十     bāshí 80

九十     jiǔshí  90

一百     yībǎi  100

And, to close please visit http://acton28.wix.com/a28 to see photographs on the tab marked Spring In China.

Ta’ra!

Tasty little things

30 Mar 2014

Tuesday came, Tuesday went – and with it high humidity for the best part of the day.  Somewhere between Tuesday night and Wednesday morning my body had become an all-you-eat buffet for mosquitoes.  My left arm has gained two prize winning bites; my right hand was not spared a nibble; the left forearm had a bite; my lower back had two lumps of feeding frenzy and my ankle (right on the sockline) copped for one too.  So yesterday, I was a tad itchy but resisted – and still each bite falred up like a dod displaying it’s breeding lipstick (too graphic?  Tough, my bites are bigger than the dome of St Paul’s Cathedral).  Today (Friday), I find another additional chomp mark by my left eye.  So, how do you avoid mosquitoes?  Nuclear war seems the only viable option.  That, and tonight I shall stock up on coils of mosquito repellent at tesco (or our other local supermarket).  The mosquito net (in our otherwise mosquito free apartment shall be put up, just in case).  Deet and the alternatives are at hand.  Not so I can avoid being bitten, moreso to avoid canine penial metaphors.  It could be worse Briony has a massive 28 bites from one evening.  From nowehere came the winged terrors.

Good news is here.  On Thursday, I invested in a bicycle (the seat stem had Giant Butted written on it, a selling point of ever there was one).  Bad news is equally here.  Last night I suffered my first punctured tyre.  The roads here are littered with bits of metal, glass and shards of the wastes of life.  I have a pump.  I own a helmet (practically the only bike helmet in China – and one that fits too).  I also have a rear bike light.  Bikes here (scooters and motorbikes too) rarely have lights.  Cars often never use them too.  I’ve seen artics travelling poorly lit streets in our area with what i can only describe as two Tesco value torches fastened to the front.  Anyway, tonight I shall buy lubricant and a puncture repair kit for my bike.  Nikki hasn’t got a bike yet.  That is something we shall sort this week.

This weekend, starting Friday, I intend to go to the pub ran by the wife of Marcus (a Maori bloke).  We had a pub quiz there last Wednesday night.  Our team came second but with the team name “Liam’s Mum’s Tribute” as the least imaginative team name going, we didn’t deserve first place.  The team that came first had and average age of 55.  Our team’s mean average age was closer to 25.  The round on US aircraft threw us out a bit but we still came 2nd that round but we lost many points in the music introduction round.  It turns out Otis Redding and Elvis Presley are not our collective strong point.  Next time we’ll win!

On Tuesday, we wandered to a local temple, (see the map for our location by Liosha Road/Liaoxia).  It was very pretty, and had some good views.  Photos will follow at some point.

At school this week I have had two very quiet days, Wednesday and Thursday being month end exams for my grade 7 and 8 students.  So with that, 8 classes were cancelled.  Feet up?  I think not.  I was asked if I’d like to teach kindergarten (Nikki teaches them).  It turns out the two kindergarten schools located next to my school are linked with my school and another.  Nikki’s kindergarten shares facilities but not graduating students.  So, James, Birgitte (referred to as Bri), Briony (known as Amy due to kindergarten students not being able to say Briony), Kelly (another foreign teacher from a local kindergarten) joined forces to prepare for Friday’s demo/recruitment class.

This morning started with weather (sunny, cloudy, rainy, and windy – complete with actions), the days of the week, a body parts song (heads, shoulders… knees and toes) before moving onto a song based on fingers and clapping.  Twenty minutes later, a bucket of sweat (we were outdoors in 28C) we sat down and watched the entire school (less grade 1, 7 and 8) perform a dance routine.  Not as bad day, but not something I am keen to repeat.  As great and as enthusiastic as nursery/kindergarten schoolm children are, they’re too tiny.

This Sunday I am tempted by the Science Museum in Dongguan (for the dinosaur exhibition etc).  We have to pass on the local comedy night due to our not-too-impressive-lack-of-Mandarin.

One for next month?   This looks ace!!!!  We’re expecting a long weekend too (so this is on our radar).

**written on Friday, published Sunday early hours**

Happy Mothering Sunday…

30 Mar 2014

…to my mum, mother-in-law, all the wonderful mothers around the world, and the mothers no longer with us.  You make us, you shape us, you support us x

Video